Thursday, February 4, 2010

We All Have Got The Internet Overuse

So according to a recent study, the Internet is making us depressed.
While the scientists behind the study link depression to the amount of time spent in a virtual world, I have a few of my own theories as to why the Internet is making us all very, very sad.
1: Checking on the Ex.  If you are about to say that you have never fallen prey to Facebooking our ex you’d better grab a fire extinguisher, because your pants are on fire.  After a break-up, as detailed by Ted Mosby on “How I Met Your Mother,” there is a clear winner and a clear loser.  And of course, you want your ex to be the loser.  So you’ll casually click on his Facebook, just to see how he’s doing (i.e. hopefully read a bunch of depressing status updates regarding his horrible life since you guys broke up, maybe some encouraging wall posts from his friends trying in vain to get him out of his depression of knowing that there was no one else for him than you…) and what do you find? NEW PICTURES OF HIM AND SOME GIRL?!  IT’S ONLY BEEN A WEEK!  WHO IS THIS “JESSICA”??!  You click through the entire album at least twice, only to find that this little witch is now apparently dating your vile ex, and (after a small amount of clicking) she’s just gorgeous and cool and perfect. 
2: Online Shopping. You avoid the expensive stores in the mall because you know you can’t afford them, but there’s no avoiding that amazing Botkier bag or Louboutin pump that you happen to come across while absentmindedly surfing the web in lecture. And seeing it there, taunting you with its beauty, sends you into a deep fit of depression when you know you can’t afford it.
3: Hey, I’m Doing So Much Better Than You! Even though you know that Facebook trawling is just as harmful as it is helpful (if not more so), you still can’t stay away.  So you see in your Newsfeed that one of your old classmates is putting up pictures from their trip abroad this summer.  Oh it’s no big deal – they just spent a month in Paris in cafes and then trekked down to the coast of the Mediterranean and spent a couple of weeks on the beach.  Oh and there another friend spent, like, two months surfing in Australia.  And this friend over here just changed their work info; oh they’re just casually working at NYLON now…while you are currently in a snow covered dorm boiling water on the sly for oatmeal.  Depression.
4: WHAT TIME IS IT?! You may think that the internet is just good for killing time between things that you’re doing, but what if those other activities become the things that you’re using to kill time between your Internet time?  It starts with Facebook (everything starts with Facebook now); you’re just casually clicking around, “catching up” with friends and, suddenly, you happen to catch the time. “How is it possible that I’ve been on Facebook for an hour?” But then you feel the need to start catching up on shows you missed last night on Hulu, which shouldn’t take long since these shows are only about 20 minutes long. But then you happen to glance at the clock again and, “ARE YOU KIDDING? HOW DID I LOSE TWO MORE HOURS ON THIS NONSENSE?!”  And now you’re depressed and anxious because all of this mindless clicking means you missed out on everything. Including writing that paper, which will now have you up all night.
5: What social interaction? Admit it: you’ve IMed someone in the same room as you. If that’s not depressing, I don’t know what is.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Weird thoughts

Weird everyday thoughts that we dont think about...

I've come across these weird thoughts or questions coming up everyday in our lives. The funny thing is we never stop and ponder over them, or ask "why is it".

I hope you enjoy it...
Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
What is Satan's last name?
Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Where does the toe tag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?
If you’re driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?
Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?
If you dug a hole through the center of the earth, and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?
If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?
If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and you’re the main witness, what if you say "no"?
Do they bury people with their braces on?
How far east can you go before you're heading west?
How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?
Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?
If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states.
Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?
Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?
Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it.
If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?
What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
If a transvestite goes missing, would you put their face on a carton of half and half?
Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?
In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?
Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?
Can you daydream at night?
Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?
Can crop circles be square?
If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?
Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as you’re following the direction of the traffic?
When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?
Why vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is is brown?
Can animals commit suicide or murder?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Why aren't drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?
When two people marry, they say, "you may kiss the bride". What do they say if two MEN get married?
Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?
Why do people say beans beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?
If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Why are they called 'Jolly Ranchers'? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?
Why do caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?
If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?
If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, does it go bad if the cow isn’t refrigerated?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?
Can a black person join the KKK?
When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?
When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party?
If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?
If LondonBridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?
Why is it that before 9/11 they always showed the emergency broadcast system test, and on 9/11 they never used it?
If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?
Who was Sadie Hawkins?
If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?
Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?
If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?
What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid? Are they pregnant?
If Mars had earthquakes would they be called mars quakes?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?
Do you yawn in your sleep?
Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs’ butts?
If a cannibal was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electrocuted for his last meal?
Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
If you died with braces on would they take them off?
If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take their nose ring out. Does snot come out of the piercing hole?
How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.
Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why builders are afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?
Why can't donuts be square?
Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?
What happens to an irresistible force when it hits an immovable object?
If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?
Why do overalls have belt buckle loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?
Do people in prison celebrate halloween.... if so how?
Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
Why is all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?
What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?
What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of Siamese twins? Who gets to be king?
Do all-boys schools have girl’s bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boy’s bathrooms?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
How come cats’ butts go up when you pet them?
What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?
How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?
Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?
Why are dogs noses always wet?
If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?
Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?
Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation?
Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?
If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass?
Do bald people get Dandruff?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do super-hero’s wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Can you cry under water?
Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?
If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?
Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
How come all of the planets are spherical?
How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn't just peel right off?
when a pregnant lady has twins, is there 1 or 2 umbilical cords?
Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?
Why do they put holes in crackers?
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine" on a nude beach?
What do people in China call their good plates?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
If an escalator breaks down, does it become stairs?
Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?
Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?
Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?
What are the handles for corn on the cob called?
Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer?
Do your eyes change color when you die?
Were Mary and Joseph's surname Christ before Jesus was born?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
If K.F.C Stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken, Why do they play sweet home Alabama on the commercials?
If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
What type of animal is Snuffaluffagus?
If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
Does a 'Marks-A-Lot' marker, mark any more than a regular marker?
If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
What happens when you put a light saber in water?
On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?
If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
What do you call male ballerinas?
How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?
Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Mickey Mouse, who is bigger than us?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?
Can bald men get lice?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
If you undergo chemotherapy do you lose your pubic hairs?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Does the postman deliver his own mail?
Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue?
What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other then your hand?
Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
Can you "stare off into space" when you're in space?
Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?
Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?
How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall. But it's illegal to keep one as a pet?
Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?
Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
Was Jesus a virgin when he died?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Who coined the phrase, 'coined the phrase?'
If there were a thousand seagulls in an airplane while it’s flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?
If you soak a raisin in water, does it turn back into a grape?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do they call steam rollers, steam rollers? They don't produce, get rid of, or have anything to do with steam
What is another word for "thesaurus"?

Saturday, January 30, 2010

To Quit or Not to Quit: 10 signs you should leave your job

Here are 10 signs that it's time to abdicate your job:
10. You've afresh acquainted so fatigued out at work, that you are axis into an affecting employee. This is a huge assurance that your accepted job is not alive for you. I afresh access into tears at work, in foreground of my manager, and now I affliction it. Afore you get to your breaking point, be acquainted of your accent levels, if they become unmanageable, attending for a new job ASAP, afore your affections get the best of you, and you get fired.
9. Time drags. Hopefully all of you accept accomplished alive in a position area time flew, either because you had so abundant fun accomplishing your job, or because you had abundant plan that was important enough, in your eyes, to accumulate you busy. If you acquisition yourself apathetic at work, this is a huge assurance that your career has affronted into " just a job".
8. You get alone into a few tasks that you do absolutely able-bodied at. This has happened to me before, and I've apparent this appear to co-workers. If you get labeled a "specialist" or an "expert" in something, you're consistently the aboriginal up for those tasks you're accepted for accepting acceptable at, and your boss, and co-workers will abort to see that you're competent at accomplishing annihilation else. Thus, the ambit of your job becomes banal and you are beggared of developing new abilities and accepting new projects to appearance off your abilities.
7. For one acumen or addition you've become affronted and absinthian appear your job, your boss, or a few of your not-so-favorite co-workers (or all of the above). Believe me, I can anticipate of at atomic one accessory who absolutely admits to accepting actual sarcastic, and has even said she notices humans anticipate she's accepting serious, if she's absolutely just accepting bitter. Either way, humans accept started to allocution about her in a abrogating manner, even admitting her accomplishment set is aloft and aloft the added accessory in her group. Afore you end up accepting complained about, apprehend that even if you're accepting sarcastic, and some ability acquisition it funny, others are demography it seriously. I've begin that accepting a faculty of amusement in the plan abode is not account it.
6. You've had a argument with a accessory that escalated into added of a activity and the absolute appointment knows. This has happened to me, and let me acquaint you, even admitting we were both in the wrong, because I absitively to get defensive, I am added to accusation for aggravating to be "right". Years later, I still apprehend about it, and I was advantageous I wasn't fired. Maybe you're battle with a aide isn't as severe, but if you had to accept a administrator arbitrate the conflict, its apparently a acceptable assurance you should alpha job hunting. You may not acquaintance any actual consequences, but assurance me, it will be remembered. A little altercation however, that turns into a baby spat, should be formed through. This is accepted and calmly fixable. Be able and do whatever you accept to in adjustment to "put the bonfire out".
5. You're accepting a difficult time financially. We're all there appropriate now, so you can't feel bad. The abridgement sucks and it's harder for all of us. However, aswell bald in apperception that no bulk how abundant you make, it never seems to be enough. If you accept spent time alteration your budget, accept approved to get baby ancillary jobs, feel that a additional job is impossible, and you are still accepting agitation authoritative ends meet, I advance you alpha searching for a higher-paying position. Money isn't everything, but if you're consistently affirmation out about it, activity is needed.
4. You've bent whim of a "reorganization", you apperceive of any ample account cuts happening, or your aggregation has afresh been bought or sold. The aloft aren't necessarily signs that you should jump ship, rather, signs that there are traveling to be big changes ahead. If you feel that these changes are traveling to affect you or your position in a abrogating way, I would acclaim searching for jobs in your additional time to be able in case "the axe falls".
3. Your co-workers are accept been acting abnormally about you. You may accept at one point had a acceptable bulk of appointment "friends" but lately, you've had the activity you're accepting avoided, humans assume beneath accommodating with you, no one goes out of their way to babble with you and so on. This could be a assurance that there is appointment account traveling on about you, or that you did something, to anyone to piss you off. This will not anon be annihilation added than abstruse and annoying, but if your co-workers abhorrence you, it could aggravate into something abundant above and don't be afraid if your bang-up writes that you "aren't a aggregation player" on your next review.
2. Your bang-up has been acting abnormally about you. Be alert in assessing your administration behavior, it may not be an indicator something is amiss and could be something that doesn't affair you like college ups giving them a harder time, or they could be ambidextrous with their own claimed stress. I consistently admonish humans not to yield how their bang-up acts appear them personally, however, there are some accessible signs that you're in abysmal doo-doo with your boss. For example, if your bang-up is all of a abrupt on your case, micromanaging about to the point area your workload is unmanageable, you're faced with absurd deadlines and you feel like you're accepting set up for failure. If your bang-up has chewed you out about acutely atomic things, afresh and frequently, this is a assurance that the hawkeye eye is focused on you. Your bang-up affairs you abreast into their appointment aloft your approved account time is usually not a acceptable sign. And finally, if you're accepting assigned mostly active work, and advisedly projects, your bang-up may accept absent assurance in you.
1. You accept the gut activity that you ability charge to abdicate for one acumen or another. Assurance your instincts if you're activity afflictive at work. If you feel like your position has been blah aloft repair, or if you accept been analysis something bad is traveling to appear at work, that activity isn't paranoia, it's your gut activity that it's time to move on, and you should listen.
If you're activity ambivalent about whether or not to abdicate your job, I can't say it enough, alpha job hunting quietly, NOW, that way, if something does appear at work, you accept options. There is annihilation worse than blockage in a bouldered position for too long, and accepting to leave on your administration agreement and not by your own bigger judgement.

Funny & Thoughtful Quotes About Money

There are people who have money and people who are rich. ~Coco Chanel
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. ~Oscar Wilde
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. ~J. Paul Getty
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~Buzzie Bavasi
It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach. ~Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf
Money is a headache, and money is the cure. ~Everett Mámor
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. ~Joe Louis
It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ~Albert Camus
We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to. ~Alexander Pope
The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste. ~M.W. Harrison
There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either. ~Robert Graves
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Frank Hubbard
Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings. ~Carl Sandburg
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart. ~John Wesley
Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb
Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills. ~Clifford Odets
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~Bob Hope
Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. ~A.A. Latimer
If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil. ~Henry Fielding
Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving. ~Dan Millman
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ~Woody Allen
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. ~George Gobel
We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. ~Gloria Steinem
Money may be the husk of many things but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintance, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness. ~Henrik Ibsen
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George Horace Lorimer
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. ~Henry Wheeler Shaw
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. ~Henry Ford
We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. ~Julian Huxley
Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money. ~Satchel Paige
We ought to change the legend on our money from "In God We Trust" to "In Money We Trust." Because, as a nation, we've got far more faith in money these days than we do in God. ~Arthur Hoppe
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. ~Voltaire
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin
Money often costs too much. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis
A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. ~W.C. Fields
Money doesn't talk, it swears. ~Bob Dylan
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. ~Doug Larson
Money does not pay for anything, never has, never will. It is an economic axiom as old as the hills that goods and services can be paid for only with goods and services. ~Albert Jay Nock
He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. ~Henry Ward Beecher
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ~Yogi Berra
Inflation is taxation without legislation. ~Milton Friedman
Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence. ~Max Amsterdam
Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. ~Zig Ziglar
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. ~Oscar Wilde
Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind. ~Kay Ingram
Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. ~Norman Vincent Peale

Creative and funny Questions and Creative Answers

Interviewer Question : If it took four men four hours to code a program, how long would it take eight men to code it?
Creative Answer : No time at all, the program is already there.
Interviewer Question : If you have three oranges and three apples in one hand and four oranges and four apples in the other hand, what would you have?
Creative Answer : You have really huge hands.(really funny one)
Interviewer Question : If you throw a Blue stone into the blue sea what it will become?
Creative Answer : It will become Wet.
Interviewer Question : Largest US river Mississipi is in which state?
Creative Answer : Liquid
Interviewer Question : What looks like half water melon ?
Creative Answer : The other half.
Interviewer Question : What can you never eat for breakfast ?
Creative Answer : Dinner.
Interviewer Question : What happened when wheel was invented ?
Creative Answer : It caused a revolution.
Interviewer Question : How can you lift a polar bear with one hand?
Creative Answer : It is not a problem, since you will never find a polar bear with one hand.
Interviewer Question : How can a man go straight eight days without sleeping?
Creative Answer : No Problems, He can sleep at night.
Finally a special one..
Interviewer Question : I shall either ask you five easy questions or only one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind.
The candidate thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Chicken or Egg?"
The candidate was very happy and answered "It's the chicken!"
"How?" the interviewer asked,"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" and he got selected.

In Any interview, always handle the questions with confidence. Your competence in an interview with difficult questions will show that you are a potential employee who shines during stressful situations

Dozen suggestions and account on what to do during weekends

People adulation weekends because it is usually time if we don’t accept time to plan and we are anticipating quiet moments additional a blow day area we can do things we would like to do. All of us accept altered affairs too, some accept families, active alone, affiliated after children, with accouchement or just active with accompany etc.
1. Gotta adulation to watch your admired sports on weekend
* During weekend during the football division (September to aboriginal February) , football (National Football League), I watched the bold and I abiding for the underdogs, gotta adulation them. I aswell watched basketball on nights on weekdays as able-bodied as weekends if the division goes on. I scream and bawl if the aggregation I am acclaim for is winning, hehe, gotta scream already in while to let go, frustrations. Yes, I get balked if the aggregation I am acclaim for absent their game, afresh I just attending at the faces of the aggregation and how abundant added to them, watching bold is like action itself, you win some you lose some. Next time, you gotta plan harder afresh to win.
2. Thanks God it is Friday -- adore Friday nights getting abandoned -- by sleeping, be with your friends, bf/gf or with your family
* Usually on Friday nights I beddy-bye late, (you accept the acumen to be lazy). For a lot of of us who formed on weekdays, it is a time to relax, beddy-bye and eat after cerebration of the time. If I am not visiting a friend, i just adore it alone, or if you like you can appointment your accompany or be with your girlfriend. In my case, usually the accouchement arrives actuality in the abode on Saturday 2 pm, but during winter and January I don’t augment accouchement anymore as it is too algid traveling out. I usually baker for accouchement and augment some of them every Saturday afternoon except during this time, winter, it is too cold.
3. Do advantageous activities, accompany a hobby.
* Aside from HubPages, try added hobbies you ability wish to do. Last weekend I approved singing and strumming a guitar, been accomplishing these but I am still a amateur and the abandoned affair that stop me from acquirements is already my fingers are algid already, afresh I stopped. You can aswell do these things while you are accomplishing added things, for archetype while watching TV.
4. Account books and watching or account the news; it takes me 4 hours on Saturday and Sunday to do this, although for account I accept to it accustomed -- CNN and BBC, an boilerplate of one hour because it is repetitive anyhow so one hour is enough. If you read, baby your anxiety at the aforementioned time, put them up on the couch for claret circulation, own your TV room, accomplish it adequate for you, MAKE YOUR DAY in abbreviate LOL.
5. Charwoman your abode (making it presentable) and aliment check, hehe, throwing all the debris and putting the music while accomplishing these things so that your senses are working. Yield time to do domiciliary affairs like charwoman your abode or apartment, laundry, or just putting things together. You can aswell ball with the music. “Don’t you adulation me baby” hehe.
6. Groceries-- I go to WalMart -- Whats not to adulation at Walmart, they are bargain and they action abounding articles too. You can Go blooming if you like or you just accept things, I don’t bother account all the calories, at a glance you apperceive what aliment makes you accretion weight or not
7. Try Meditation-- Accept you approved this one, sit down in a quiet room, abutting your eyes and just concentrate, what do you see, black isn’t it, try it afresh if you are not absolutely concentrated there are abounding things traveling in your mind. Inhale, breathe and afresh abutting your eyes, afresh alluvion off to beddy-bye (just kidding, don't beddy-bye hehe)
8. Yield a airing -- See the apple alfresco -- actuality in Dallas during winter, it is not as algid as the blow of the East Coast actuality in the US or any allotment of the western world, but abundant colder than the close places of course. You can yield a walk, just dress for the cold. Usually abasement sets in during winter division because of the absinthian colds, seeing the alfresco apple helps, just be accurate if active as able-bodied if you like to yield your car. DRIVE CAREFULLY. In the accustomed time of the year, you can airing with your dog or alone, or try the parks.
9. Connect with accompany -- Socialize with your accompany and yield time to apperceive what they accept been up to or if you can get calm for some fun or just afterlight anniversary added about the affairs in your life.
10. Move your butt, just move it-- it is like exercise, Just do affairs which crave action and action so that you don’t get bored. and run errands as well; like traveling to the mall, watched movies. But if you are so annoyed in the weekdays working, afresh there is a acumen not to move your butt, you accept befalling to just alluvion off to sleep. For me, I just get my accustomed beddy-bye afresh I chose to be mobile, I don't overslept as I get cephalalgia if I am beggared in the weekdays and I am acclimated to it on weekends.
11. Adore moments with your gf/bf/wife/love interest. If you are with a admired one, bonding is actual important during weekends as the two of you ability be together, for archetype if you are both alive on weekdays, accommodating anniversary added on weekends if you accept added time is a actual nice idea. Added allowance for lovemaking, LOL.
12. And the a lot of important of them all -- Yield time to adore activities with your ancestors --- If you accept a family, afresh it is time to band with anniversary other. Accouchement bethink the times you are with them for the blow of their lives, like arena together, traveling to the abundance calm or acknowledging them in their called sports for example. “Families that prays together, stays calm on weekends except for the ancestor who stays with another” just kidding.

50 Ways To Say I Love You On Valentine's Day!!!

Valentine's Day is a highly celebrated holiday thousands of arrangements are purchased, roses are given, balloons with sayings from "Will You Be Mine", to "I Love You" are giving every Valentine's day. Many try to do something unique and different just to show someone how much they care marriages are performed more on that day then any other time of the year. Creating 50 Ways to Say I Love You made me realize that it is not how much you spend on someone, it is how you say it I Love You and what it really means.
50. Write a Romantic Poem for him/her
49. Make lunch for him/her place a note inside the sandwich saying "I Love You"
48. If they are into texting send how you feel adding emoticons or special expressions to the text.
47. Fill the bathroom with heart shaped-balloon's, close the door and wait for them to open it.
46. Bake a heart shaped-cookie writing " I Love You" on the top to him/her
45. Get sexy for him/her create a sash expressing how you feel toward them and drape it over yourself.
44. Create little cards of things you would do for them , or would like to do to them. Remember to hold up to your promise.
43. Have a spare set of keys for the vehicle fill the car with helium filled balloons and when they open it every word you wish to say will come floating out into the sky for the world to see.
42. Make a romantic dinner light candle for two , turn off the cell phones, computers shut down the virtual world for an evening of romance.
41. Go to there work , yes you find a favorite song and sing it yourself to him/her. Who cares if you are out of tune they will love you for it!
40. Give him/her a back-rub with scented lotions and massage oils from head to toe, front to back.
39. Take turns with the responsibilites at home giving him/her a much needed break from the kids, cleaning etc. The boudoir' may be much better if you did.
38. Bubbles baths are wonderful for both him/her purchase some bubble bath , light the candles and set the mood for a relaxing and romantic evening.
37. Place a screen saver on there computer that says, " I Love You" when they first log-in.
36. Set a ringtone on his/her cellphone with a romantic song, for ex: " I Just Called To Say I Love You," by Stevie Wonder. The person on the other end of the phone will be smiling from ear to ear.
36. Learn how to say I Love You in a different language or two or three learn the dialect so that is sounds sexy!
35. Writer's are creative use different ways of saying " I Love You" be unique write it differently, one of hub pages best said it well on her blog Kathryn Vercillo , Thank you!
34. Create a video telling him/her why they are so special giving them clues to what the evening is going to entail and what you have planned.
33. Create a treasure hunt beginning in the early morning until the evening providing them clues/ trinkets that you can afford. Get there office/ facility etc involved on your plan. They would love to also join in on the excitement and fun.
32. Surprise engagement? Contact the restaurant or place that you will be going to ahead of time, ask them to present the ring on your behalf at an approximate moment. Get down on your knee to him/her and ask them to marry you.
31. Fresh rose petals are a little spendy but if you are on a budget your local craft store should have silk rose petals, sprinkle those across the bed , candlelight and soft music with set the made for this lover's night.
30. Have flowers delivered to his/her work while they are there , everyone will realize how important they are and maybe then that single person in the office will quit trying to hit on your one and only.
29. Leave a long stem rose next to the nightstand in the bedroom when they are taking a shower or bath or in the kitchen with a note next to it saying, " You are my one and only I am so glad that you are a part of my life. "
28. If you live at the beach trace a large heart in the sand expressing what you feel for him/her and sit right below the words in a blanket cuddling each other watching the waves come in. If you cannot do this, do the same thing in the snow or lawn, snow will melt and grass will grow back you will be happy that you did.
27. If you are purchasing pizza have them cut it into a heart-shaped pizza before it is delivered.
26. Get creative design a card created by you and mail it to her the day before Valentines day, if necessary ask the post office to make sure it is delivered on Valentine's day.
25. Purchase two t-shirts , purchase fabric paint and write a heartfelt message to each other.
24. Compliment him/her in public tell them how wonderful they look, smell, etc.
23. Purchase a day spa package for him/her giving them time to relax and enjoy life a little.
22. If both of you are avid sports fans purchase 2 tickets for just him/her best seats possible spending the day enjoying a game alone with twenty-thousand people.
21. Create a masquerade ball ask him/her to dress accordingly you purchase the masks and make it a secret love affair evening.
20. Create a romantic getaway tell him/her to pack lightly running away to a bed and breakfast for the weekend, no television, no cellphones, no computers just you and him/her.
19. Serve breakfast to him/her on Valentine's morning they will be wonderfully surprised.
18. If you shower first thing when you wake up write a love message in the steam.
17. Buy a charm bracelet for him/her with 14 unique charms give them to them from the 1st to the 14th day leading to the grand finale on Valentine's day.
16. Everyone loves lingerie purchase the sexiest piece of lingerie you can find for him/her wrap it beautifully in a heart-shaped box with a special message inside.
15. If you are on a limited budget but would like to purchase jewelry try purchasing silver or gold. If you do not have a budget go luxury with platinum. A heart-shaped necklace or a pair of earrings will make the evening shine.
14. Tell a friend how much you love him/her and why.
13. Listen to what him/her has to say pay attention if you need to jot it down , it makes them feel appreciated.
12. Dry his/her hair after there shower , brush and assist with blow drying. Doing something together makes him/her feel special.
11. If he/she tells you something in confidence don't go telling anyone else, you are there best friend and a person must keep a secret.
10. Gentleman chivalry please, " Open the door for her," Ladies, " Open the door from the inside this is quite mannerly and very caring. Who says chivalry is dead? Have a mutual respect for each other.
9. Trust one another's judgement , do not always be so critical of him/her.
8. Allow them to get involved and ask their opinion don't really the eyes but really listen, you may learn something.
7. Pick a movie that both of you can enjoy or allow him/her to pick there own movie and watch it together.
6. Always say " I Love You" before you go to bed, and " I Love You When You Wake up in the morning."
5. Hold his/her hand in public do not be afraid nor ashamed to show your feelings.
4. Share each others food, feed each other .
3. Blindfold him/her lead them to a destination or place remove the blindfold revealing what you had waiting.
2. Do some serious spooning and just cuddle
1. Not just on Valentine's day but each and everyday remind them how important they are to you.
50 ways to say I love you is not just about gifts, but about thoughts, feelings and emotions toward one another, just as much as a special gift the best gift of all is each other, finding the purpose and truth in the relationship and keeping the flame of passion burning.
Happy Valentine's Day!

25 Funny Best Friend Quotes

1. "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read" - Groucho Marx
2. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you" - Rita Mae Brown
3. "No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend" - Groucho Marx
4. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." - Bernard Meltzer
5. "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - Winnie The Pooh
6. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." - Jim Hayes
7. "Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." - Ed Cunningham
8. "A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." - Lois Wyse
9. "It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter." - Marlene Dietrich
10. "A true friend stabs you in the front." - Oscar Wilde
11. "I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" - Archie Bunker
12. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey
13. "There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool." G. K. Chesterton
14. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money". - Benjamin Franklin
15. "One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim." - George Carlin
16. "A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling." - Arthur Brisbane
17. "You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog." - Harry S. Truman
18. "The best time to make friends is before you need them." - Ether Barrymore
19. "We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends." - P. D. James
20. "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people." - Gilbert K. Chesterton
21. "You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job". - Laurence Sterne
22. "The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read." - Abraham Lincoln
23. "The cat could well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." - Doug Larson
24. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money." - Benjamin Franklin
25. "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." - Mark Twain

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Commenter Keyboard

Dear Bill Gates,

Here's a model I came up with for your next generation keyboards.

(Left Side Keyboard)

(Right Side Keyboard)

(Number Pad)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Smart Student

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.

Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.

A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"

As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.

"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."

The memory test

Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man. “What is three times three?” “200” is his reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and asks the second man, “it’s your turn. “What is three times three?” “Sunday,” replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man. “Okay, your turn. “What is three times three?” “Nine” says the third man. “That’s great! Says the doctor. “How did you get that?” “Simple,” he says, “Just substract 200 from Sunday.”

Who is Stupid???

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed Math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is asking you a Math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. “What is two plus two?”

The player thought gor a moment and then answered, “4?”
Did you say “4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other player on the team began screaming…..,
“COME ON COACH, GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!”

Interviewer and interviewee

Interviewer: Your Name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me properly.
Interviewee: Mohan Pal, Sir.

Interviewer: Your father's name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What dose that mean?
Interviewee: Manmohan Pal, Sir.

Interviewer: Your native place?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Madhya Pradesh?
Interviewee: No, Munnur Pal, Sir.

Interviewer: What is your qualification?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer (Angrily): What is it?
Interviewee: Matric Pass.

Interviewer: Why do you need a job?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: And what does that mean?
Interviewee: Money problem, Sir.

Interviewer: Describe your personality.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Explain yourself clearly.
Interviewee: Magnanimous personality, Sir.

Interviewer: This discussion is now over. You may go now.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What is it now?
Interviewee: My performance, Sir?

Interviewer: M.P.!!!
Interviewee: What is that, Sir.
Interviewer: Mentally punctured!

Can You Read These Correctly, The First Time? And Other Fun Language Puzzlers

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

- There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.

- There is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

- English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France.

- Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that...

...quicksand can work slowly

...boxing rings are square

...a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig

And why is it that

- writers write but fingers don't fing?

- grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

- if the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

- if one goose, 2 geese, why not one moose, 2 meese? And what's up with one index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that...

...you can make amends but not one amend?

...if you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

...if teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

...if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people...

...recite at a play and play at a recital?

...ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

...have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which...

...your house can burn up as it burns down

...you fill in a form by filling it out

...an alarm goes off by going on

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick”?

Some Interesting Things To Think About

- Can you cry under water?

- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?

- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

- What disease did cured ham actually have?

- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

- When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

- What do you call male ballerinas?

- If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

- Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

- Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

Did you know that...

  1. π=3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 ...
  2. A sphere has two sides. However, there are one-sided surfaces.
  3. There are shapes of constant width other than the circle. One can even drill square holes.
  4. There are just five regular polyhedra
  5. In a group of 23 people, at least two have the same birthday with the probability greater than 1/2
  6. Everything you can do with a ruler and a compass you can do with the compass alone
  7. Among all shapes with the same perimeter a circle has the largest area.
  8. There are curves that fill a plane without holes
  9. Much as with people, there are irrational, perfect, complex numbers
  10. As in philosophy, there are transcendental numbers
  11. As in the art, there are imaginary and surreal numbers
  12. A straight line has dimension 1, a plane - 2. Fractals have mostly fractional dimension
  13. You are wrong if you think Mathematics is not fun
  14. Mathematics studies neighborhoods, groups and free groups, rings, ideals, holes, poles and removable poles, trees, growth ...
  15. Mathematics also studies models, shapes, curves, cardinals, similarity, consistency, completeness, space ...
  16. Among objects of mathematical study are heredity, continuity, jumps, infinity, infinitesimals, paradoxes...
  17. Last but not the least, Mathematics studies stability, projections and values, values are often absolute but may also be extreme, local or global.
  18. Trigonometry aside, Mathematics comprises fields like Game Theory, Braids Theory, Knot Theory and more
  19. One is morally obligated not to do anything impossible
  20. Some numbers are square, yet others are triangular
  21. The next sentence is true but you must not believe it
  22. The previous sentence was false
  23. 12+3-4+5+67+8+9=100 and there exists at least one other representation of 100 with 9 digits in the right order and math operations in between
  24. One can cut a pie into 8 pieces with three movements
  25. Program=Algorithms+Data Structures
  26. There is something the dead eat but if the living eat it, they die.
  27. A clock never showing right time might be preferable to the one showing right time twice a day
  28. Among all shapes with the same area circle has the shortest perimeter 
  29. Curves of infinite length may enclose finite areas.
  30. Falsity implies anything.
  31. There is order in chaos.
  32. To get cafe au lait one should carry coffee to milk and not milk to coffee.
  33. Sets may be thick, thin and normal.
  34. In some circumstances index equals the content.
  35. In other circumstances, an index may have a content of its own.
  36. There are things distant yet near. There are others that are near yet distant.
  37. There are three plane regions that share exactly the same boundary.
  38. A continuous linear function must have the form f(x)=ax. Discontinuous linear functions look dreadful.
  39. A continuous function may grow considerably virtually without changing.
  40. You can't add apples and oranges but you can add their shapes.
  41. There are many things that can be added: numbers, vectors, matrices, spaces, shapes, sets, functions, equations, strings, chains...
  42. Among any two integers or real numbers one is larger, another smaller. But you can't compare two complex numbers.
  43. The only triangle with rational sides and angles is equilateral.
  44. 0!=1
  45. One is morally obligated to do everything impossible.
  46. The word 'fraction' derives from the Latin fractio - to break. However, there are continuous fractions.
  47. For every object there is a distance at which it looks its best.
  48. At any given time in New York there live at least two people with the same number of hairs.
  49. Sometimes in order to add one has to take the difference.
  50. Demographic tests show that the person least likely to buy Wired magazine is an American schoolteacher
  51. Complex numbers are in a sense perfect while there is little doubt that perfect numbers are complex.
  52. You can position 10 defenders of a square castle so that on every side there will be 5 men.
  53. There are many things that can be multiplied: numbers, vectors, matrices, functions, equations, sets, pegs...
  54. A torus may be brushed smooth but a sphere can not.
  55. A circle may be quite useful in drawing straight lines.
  56. In the sequence of all integers, there are arbitrary long runs with no primes.
  57. With just one caveat, anything you can do with a compass and a ruler you can do with the ruler alone.
  58. There are really impossible things.
  59. You can add apples and oranges.
  60. Complex number to a complex power may be real.
  61. Irrational number to an irrational power may be rational.
  62. There are trisectable angles that are not constructible.
  63. There exist triangular numbers that are also square.
  64. No two integers are equidistant from the square root of 2
  65. Almost every integer has a digit 3 in it
  66. C0 - C0 = [-1, 1]
  67. The length of the diagonal of the unit square equals the square root of 2
  68. Every composite number is the product of some factors and also the some of the same numbers
  69. Simple quadrilaterals tessellate the plane
  70. There is a simple solution to the affirmative action problem
  71. Two simple polygons of equal area can be dissected into a finite number of congruent polygons
  72. cos(36°) = (1 + 5)/4
  73. 1/3 + 1/4 = 7/12
  74. Σ2-n = Σn·2-n
  75. Bisector of an imaginary angle may be real
  76. Any infinite set contains uncountably many nested subsets