Here are 10 signs that it's time to abdicate your job:
10. You've afresh acquainted so fatigued out at work, that you are axis into an affecting employee. This is a huge assurance that your accepted job is not alive for you. I afresh access into tears at work, in foreground of my manager, and now I affliction it. Afore you get to your breaking point, be acquainted of your accent levels, if they become unmanageable, attending for a new job ASAP, afore your affections get the best of you, and you get fired.
9. Time drags. Hopefully all of you accept accomplished alive in a position area time flew, either because you had so abundant fun accomplishing your job, or because you had abundant plan that was important enough, in your eyes, to accumulate you busy. If you acquisition yourself apathetic at work, this is a huge assurance that your career has affronted into " just a job".
8. You get alone into a few tasks that you do absolutely able-bodied at. This has happened to me before, and I've apparent this appear to co-workers. If you get labeled a "specialist" or an "expert" in something, you're consistently the aboriginal up for those tasks you're accepted for accepting acceptable at, and your boss, and co-workers will abort to see that you're competent at accomplishing annihilation else. Thus, the ambit of your job becomes banal and you are beggared of developing new abilities and accepting new projects to appearance off your abilities.
7. For one acumen or addition you've become affronted and absinthian appear your job, your boss, or a few of your not-so-favorite co-workers (or all of the above). Believe me, I can anticipate of at atomic one accessory who absolutely admits to accepting actual sarcastic, and has even said she notices humans anticipate she's accepting serious, if she's absolutely just accepting bitter. Either way, humans accept started to allocution about her in a abrogating manner, even admitting her accomplishment set is aloft and aloft the added accessory in her group. Afore you end up accepting complained about, apprehend that even if you're accepting sarcastic, and some ability acquisition it funny, others are demography it seriously. I've begin that accepting a faculty of amusement in the plan abode is not account it.
6. You've had a argument with a accessory that escalated into added of a activity and the absolute appointment knows. This has happened to me, and let me acquaint you, even admitting we were both in the wrong, because I absitively to get defensive, I am added to accusation for aggravating to be "right". Years later, I still apprehend about it, and I was advantageous I wasn't fired. Maybe you're battle with a aide isn't as severe, but if you had to accept a administrator arbitrate the conflict, its apparently a acceptable assurance you should alpha job hunting. You may not acquaintance any actual consequences, but assurance me, it will be remembered. A little altercation however, that turns into a baby spat, should be formed through. This is accepted and calmly fixable. Be able and do whatever you accept to in adjustment to "put the bonfire out".
5. You're accepting a difficult time financially. We're all there appropriate now, so you can't feel bad. The abridgement sucks and it's harder for all of us. However, aswell bald in apperception that no bulk how abundant you make, it never seems to be enough. If you accept spent time alteration your budget, accept approved to get baby ancillary jobs, feel that a additional job is impossible, and you are still accepting agitation authoritative ends meet, I advance you alpha searching for a higher-paying position. Money isn't everything, but if you're consistently affirmation out about it, activity is needed.
4. You've bent whim of a "reorganization", you apperceive of any ample account cuts happening, or your aggregation has afresh been bought or sold. The aloft aren't necessarily signs that you should jump ship, rather, signs that there are traveling to be big changes ahead. If you feel that these changes are traveling to affect you or your position in a abrogating way, I would acclaim searching for jobs in your additional time to be able in case "the axe falls".
3. Your co-workers are accept been acting abnormally about you. You may accept at one point had a acceptable bulk of appointment "friends" but lately, you've had the activity you're accepting avoided, humans assume beneath accommodating with you, no one goes out of their way to babble with you and so on. This could be a assurance that there is appointment account traveling on about you, or that you did something, to anyone to piss you off. This will not anon be annihilation added than abstruse and annoying, but if your co-workers abhorrence you, it could aggravate into something abundant above and don't be afraid if your bang-up writes that you "aren't a aggregation player" on your next review.
2. Your bang-up has been acting abnormally about you. Be alert in assessing your administration behavior, it may not be an indicator something is amiss and could be something that doesn't affair you like college ups giving them a harder time, or they could be ambidextrous with their own claimed stress. I consistently admonish humans not to yield how their bang-up acts appear them personally, however, there are some accessible signs that you're in abysmal doo-doo with your boss. For example, if your bang-up is all of a abrupt on your case, micromanaging about to the point area your workload is unmanageable, you're faced with absurd deadlines and you feel like you're accepting set up for failure. If your bang-up has chewed you out about acutely atomic things, afresh and frequently, this is a assurance that the hawkeye eye is focused on you. Your bang-up affairs you abreast into their appointment aloft your approved account time is usually not a acceptable sign. And finally, if you're accepting assigned mostly active work, and advisedly projects, your bang-up may accept absent assurance in you.
1. You accept the gut activity that you ability charge to abdicate for one acumen or another. Assurance your instincts if you're activity afflictive at work. If you feel like your position has been blah aloft repair, or if you accept been analysis something bad is traveling to appear at work, that activity isn't paranoia, it's your gut activity that it's time to move on, and you should listen.
If you're activity ambivalent about whether or not to abdicate your job, I can't say it enough, alpha job hunting quietly, NOW, that way, if something does appear at work, you accept options. There is annihilation worse than blockage in a bouldered position for too long, and accepting to leave on your administration agreement and not by your own bigger judgement.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Funny & Thoughtful Quotes About Money
There are people who have money and people who are rich. ~Coco Chanel
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. ~Oscar Wilde
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. ~J. Paul Getty
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~Buzzie Bavasi
It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach. ~Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf
Money is a headache, and money is the cure. ~Everett Mámor
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. ~Joe Louis
It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ~Albert Camus
We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to. ~Alexander Pope
The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste. ~M.W. Harrison
There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either. ~Robert Graves
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Frank Hubbard
Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings. ~Carl Sandburg
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart. ~John Wesley
Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb
Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills. ~Clifford Odets
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~Bob Hope
Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. ~A.A. Latimer
If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil. ~Henry Fielding
Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving. ~Dan Millman
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ~Woody Allen
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. ~George Gobel
We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. ~Gloria Steinem
Money may be the husk of many things but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintance, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness. ~Henrik Ibsen
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George Horace Lorimer
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. ~Henry Wheeler Shaw
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. ~Henry Ford
We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. ~Julian Huxley
Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money. ~Satchel Paige
We ought to change the legend on our money from "In God We Trust" to "In Money We Trust." Because, as a nation, we've got far more faith in money these days than we do in God. ~Arthur Hoppe
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. ~Voltaire
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin
Money often costs too much. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis
A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. ~W.C. Fields
Money doesn't talk, it swears. ~Bob Dylan
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. ~Doug Larson
Money does not pay for anything, never has, never will. It is an economic axiom as old as the hills that goods and services can be paid for only with goods and services. ~Albert Jay Nock
He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. ~Henry Ward Beecher
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ~Yogi Berra
Inflation is taxation without legislation. ~Milton Friedman
Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence. ~Max Amsterdam
Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. ~Zig Ziglar
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. ~Oscar Wilde
Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind. ~Kay Ingram
Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. ~Norman Vincent Peale
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. ~Mark Twain
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. ~Oscar Wilde
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells. ~J. Paul Getty
We live by the Golden Rule. Those who have the gold make the rules. ~Buzzie Bavasi
It is an unfortunate human failing that a full pocketbook often groans more loudly than an empty stomach. ~Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life. ~Michael Leboeuf
Money is a headache, and money is the cure. ~Everett Mámor
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
I don't like money, actually, but it quiets my nerves. ~Joe Louis
It's a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money. ~Albert Camus
We may see the small value God has for riches, by the people he gives them to. ~Alexander Pope
The waste of money cures itself, for soon there is no more to waste. ~M.W. Harrison
There's no money in poetry, but then there's no poetry in money, either. ~Robert Graves
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Frank Hubbard
Money is power, freedom, a cushion, the root of all evil, the sum of blessings. ~Carl Sandburg
When I have money, I get rid of it quickly, lest it find a way into my heart. ~John Wesley
Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money. ~Cree Indian Proverb
Life shouldn't be printed on dollar bills. ~Clifford Odets
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. ~Bob Hope
Budget: a mathematical confirmation of your suspicions. ~A.A. Latimer
If you make money your god, it will plague you like the devil. ~Henry Fielding
Money is neither my god nor my devil. It is a form of energy that tends to make us more of who we already are, whether it's greedy or loving. ~Dan Millman
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. ~Woody Allen
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters. ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one. ~George Gobel
We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. ~Gloria Steinem
Money may be the husk of many things but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; medicine, but not health; acquaintance, but not friends; servants, but not loyalty; days of joy, but not peace or happiness. ~Henrik Ibsen
It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good, too, to check up once in a while and make sure that you haven't lost the things that money can't buy. ~George Horace Lorimer
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. ~Henry Wheeler Shaw
If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. ~Henry Ford
We all know how the size of sums of money appears to vary in a remarkable way according as they are being paid in or paid out. ~Julian Huxley
Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world. The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else. Same with money. ~Satchel Paige
We ought to change the legend on our money from "In God We Trust" to "In Money We Trust." Because, as a nation, we've got far more faith in money these days than we do in God. ~Arthur Hoppe
When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion. ~Voltaire
Too much money is as demoralizing as too little, and there's no such thing as exactly enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin
Money often costs too much. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis
A man is usually more careful of his money than of his principles. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way. ~Mark Twain
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. ~W.C. Fields
Money doesn't talk, it swears. ~Bob Dylan
People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. ~Doug Larson
Money does not pay for anything, never has, never will. It is an economic axiom as old as the hills that goods and services can be paid for only with goods and services. ~Albert Jay Nock
He is rich or poor according to what he is, not according to what he has. ~Henry Ward Beecher
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. ~Earl Wilson
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. ~Yogi Berra
Inflation is taxation without legislation. ~Milton Friedman
Business is the art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to violence. ~Max Amsterdam
Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. ~Zig Ziglar
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. ~Oscar Wilde
Women prefer men who have something tender about them - especially the legal kind. ~Kay Ingram
Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. ~Norman Vincent Peale
Creative and funny Questions and Creative Answers
Interviewer Question : If it took four men four hours to code a program, how long would it take eight men to code it?
Creative Answer : No time at all, the program is already there.
Interviewer Question : If you have three oranges and three apples in one hand and four oranges and four apples in the other hand, what would you have?
Creative Answer : You have really huge hands.(really funny one)
Interviewer Question : If you throw a Blue stone into the blue sea what it will become?
Creative Answer : It will become Wet.
Interviewer Question : Largest US river Mississipi is in which state?
Creative Answer : Liquid
Interviewer Question : What looks like half water melon ?
Creative Answer : The other half.
Interviewer Question : What can you never eat for breakfast ?
Creative Answer : Dinner.
Interviewer Question : What happened when wheel was invented ?
Creative Answer : It caused a revolution.
Interviewer Question : How can you lift a polar bear with one hand?
Creative Answer : It is not a problem, since you will never find a polar bear with one hand.
Interviewer Question : How can a man go straight eight days without sleeping?
Creative Answer : No Problems, He can sleep at night.
Finally a special one..
Interviewer Question : I shall either ask you five easy questions or only one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind.
The candidate thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Chicken or Egg?"
The candidate was very happy and answered "It's the chicken!"
"How?" the interviewer asked,"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" and he got selected.
In Any interview, always handle the questions with confidence. Your competence in an interview with difficult questions will show that you are a potential employee who shines during stressful situations
Creative Answer : No time at all, the program is already there.
Interviewer Question : If you have three oranges and three apples in one hand and four oranges and four apples in the other hand, what would you have?
Creative Answer : You have really huge hands.(really funny one)
Interviewer Question : If you throw a Blue stone into the blue sea what it will become?
Creative Answer : It will become Wet.
Interviewer Question : Largest US river Mississipi is in which state?
Creative Answer : Liquid
Interviewer Question : What looks like half water melon ?
Creative Answer : The other half.
Interviewer Question : What can you never eat for breakfast ?
Creative Answer : Dinner.
Interviewer Question : What happened when wheel was invented ?
Creative Answer : It caused a revolution.
Interviewer Question : How can you lift a polar bear with one hand?
Creative Answer : It is not a problem, since you will never find a polar bear with one hand.
Interviewer Question : How can a man go straight eight days without sleeping?
Creative Answer : No Problems, He can sleep at night.
Finally a special one..
Interviewer Question : I shall either ask you five easy questions or only one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind.
The candidate thought for a while and said, "my choice is one really difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.
"What comes first, Chicken or Egg?"
The candidate was very happy and answered "It's the chicken!"
"How?" the interviewer asked,"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!" and he got selected.
In Any interview, always handle the questions with confidence. Your competence in an interview with difficult questions will show that you are a potential employee who shines during stressful situations
Dozen suggestions and account on what to do during weekends
People adulation weekends because it is usually time if we don’t accept time to plan and we are anticipating quiet moments additional a blow day area we can do things we would like to do. All of us accept altered affairs too, some accept families, active alone, affiliated after children, with accouchement or just active with accompany etc.
1. Gotta adulation to watch your admired sports on weekend
* During weekend during the football division (September to aboriginal February) , football (National Football League), I watched the bold and I abiding for the underdogs, gotta adulation them. I aswell watched basketball on nights on weekdays as able-bodied as weekends if the division goes on. I scream and bawl if the aggregation I am acclaim for is winning, hehe, gotta scream already in while to let go, frustrations. Yes, I get balked if the aggregation I am acclaim for absent their game, afresh I just attending at the faces of the aggregation and how abundant added to them, watching bold is like action itself, you win some you lose some. Next time, you gotta plan harder afresh to win.
2. Thanks God it is Friday -- adore Friday nights getting abandoned -- by sleeping, be with your friends, bf/gf or with your family
* Usually on Friday nights I beddy-bye late, (you accept the acumen to be lazy). For a lot of of us who formed on weekdays, it is a time to relax, beddy-bye and eat after cerebration of the time. If I am not visiting a friend, i just adore it alone, or if you like you can appointment your accompany or be with your girlfriend. In my case, usually the accouchement arrives actuality in the abode on Saturday 2 pm, but during winter and January I don’t augment accouchement anymore as it is too algid traveling out. I usually baker for accouchement and augment some of them every Saturday afternoon except during this time, winter, it is too cold.
3. Do advantageous activities, accompany a hobby.
* Aside from HubPages, try added hobbies you ability wish to do. Last weekend I approved singing and strumming a guitar, been accomplishing these but I am still a amateur and the abandoned affair that stop me from acquirements is already my fingers are algid already, afresh I stopped. You can aswell do these things while you are accomplishing added things, for archetype while watching TV.
4. Account books and watching or account the news; it takes me 4 hours on Saturday and Sunday to do this, although for account I accept to it accustomed -- CNN and BBC, an boilerplate of one hour because it is repetitive anyhow so one hour is enough. If you read, baby your anxiety at the aforementioned time, put them up on the couch for claret circulation, own your TV room, accomplish it adequate for you, MAKE YOUR DAY in abbreviate LOL.
5. Charwoman your abode (making it presentable) and aliment check, hehe, throwing all the debris and putting the music while accomplishing these things so that your senses are working. Yield time to do domiciliary affairs like charwoman your abode or apartment, laundry, or just putting things together. You can aswell ball with the music. “Don’t you adulation me baby” hehe.
6. Groceries-- I go to WalMart -- Whats not to adulation at Walmart, they are bargain and they action abounding articles too. You can Go blooming if you like or you just accept things, I don’t bother account all the calories, at a glance you apperceive what aliment makes you accretion weight or not
7. Try Meditation-- Accept you approved this one, sit down in a quiet room, abutting your eyes and just concentrate, what do you see, black isn’t it, try it afresh if you are not absolutely concentrated there are abounding things traveling in your mind. Inhale, breathe and afresh abutting your eyes, afresh alluvion off to beddy-bye (just kidding, don't beddy-bye hehe)
8. Yield a airing -- See the apple alfresco -- actuality in Dallas during winter, it is not as algid as the blow of the East Coast actuality in the US or any allotment of the western world, but abundant colder than the close places of course. You can yield a walk, just dress for the cold. Usually abasement sets in during winter division because of the absinthian colds, seeing the alfresco apple helps, just be accurate if active as able-bodied if you like to yield your car. DRIVE CAREFULLY. In the accustomed time of the year, you can airing with your dog or alone, or try the parks.
9. Connect with accompany -- Socialize with your accompany and yield time to apperceive what they accept been up to or if you can get calm for some fun or just afterlight anniversary added about the affairs in your life.
10. Move your butt, just move it-- it is like exercise, Just do affairs which crave action and action so that you don’t get bored. and run errands as well; like traveling to the mall, watched movies. But if you are so annoyed in the weekdays working, afresh there is a acumen not to move your butt, you accept befalling to just alluvion off to sleep. For me, I just get my accustomed beddy-bye afresh I chose to be mobile, I don't overslept as I get cephalalgia if I am beggared in the weekdays and I am acclimated to it on weekends.
11. Adore moments with your gf/bf/wife/love interest. If you are with a admired one, bonding is actual important during weekends as the two of you ability be together, for archetype if you are both alive on weekdays, accommodating anniversary added on weekends if you accept added time is a actual nice idea. Added allowance for lovemaking, LOL.
12. And the a lot of important of them all -- Yield time to adore activities with your ancestors --- If you accept a family, afresh it is time to band with anniversary other. Accouchement bethink the times you are with them for the blow of their lives, like arena together, traveling to the abundance calm or acknowledging them in their called sports for example. “Families that prays together, stays calm on weekends except for the ancestor who stays with another” just kidding.
1. Gotta adulation to watch your admired sports on weekend
* During weekend during the football division (September to aboriginal February) , football (National Football League), I watched the bold and I abiding for the underdogs, gotta adulation them. I aswell watched basketball on nights on weekdays as able-bodied as weekends if the division goes on. I scream and bawl if the aggregation I am acclaim for is winning, hehe, gotta scream already in while to let go, frustrations. Yes, I get balked if the aggregation I am acclaim for absent their game, afresh I just attending at the faces of the aggregation and how abundant added to them, watching bold is like action itself, you win some you lose some. Next time, you gotta plan harder afresh to win.
2. Thanks God it is Friday -- adore Friday nights getting abandoned -- by sleeping, be with your friends, bf/gf or with your family
* Usually on Friday nights I beddy-bye late, (you accept the acumen to be lazy). For a lot of of us who formed on weekdays, it is a time to relax, beddy-bye and eat after cerebration of the time. If I am not visiting a friend, i just adore it alone, or if you like you can appointment your accompany or be with your girlfriend. In my case, usually the accouchement arrives actuality in the abode on Saturday 2 pm, but during winter and January I don’t augment accouchement anymore as it is too algid traveling out. I usually baker for accouchement and augment some of them every Saturday afternoon except during this time, winter, it is too cold.
3. Do advantageous activities, accompany a hobby.
* Aside from HubPages, try added hobbies you ability wish to do. Last weekend I approved singing and strumming a guitar, been accomplishing these but I am still a amateur and the abandoned affair that stop me from acquirements is already my fingers are algid already, afresh I stopped. You can aswell do these things while you are accomplishing added things, for archetype while watching TV.
4. Account books and watching or account the news; it takes me 4 hours on Saturday and Sunday to do this, although for account I accept to it accustomed -- CNN and BBC, an boilerplate of one hour because it is repetitive anyhow so one hour is enough. If you read, baby your anxiety at the aforementioned time, put them up on the couch for claret circulation, own your TV room, accomplish it adequate for you, MAKE YOUR DAY in abbreviate LOL.
5. Charwoman your abode (making it presentable) and aliment check, hehe, throwing all the debris and putting the music while accomplishing these things so that your senses are working. Yield time to do domiciliary affairs like charwoman your abode or apartment, laundry, or just putting things together. You can aswell ball with the music. “Don’t you adulation me baby” hehe.
6. Groceries-- I go to WalMart -- Whats not to adulation at Walmart, they are bargain and they action abounding articles too. You can Go blooming if you like or you just accept things, I don’t bother account all the calories, at a glance you apperceive what aliment makes you accretion weight or not
7. Try Meditation-- Accept you approved this one, sit down in a quiet room, abutting your eyes and just concentrate, what do you see, black isn’t it, try it afresh if you are not absolutely concentrated there are abounding things traveling in your mind. Inhale, breathe and afresh abutting your eyes, afresh alluvion off to beddy-bye (just kidding, don't beddy-bye hehe)
8. Yield a airing -- See the apple alfresco -- actuality in Dallas during winter, it is not as algid as the blow of the East Coast actuality in the US or any allotment of the western world, but abundant colder than the close places of course. You can yield a walk, just dress for the cold. Usually abasement sets in during winter division because of the absinthian colds, seeing the alfresco apple helps, just be accurate if active as able-bodied if you like to yield your car. DRIVE CAREFULLY. In the accustomed time of the year, you can airing with your dog or alone, or try the parks.
9. Connect with accompany -- Socialize with your accompany and yield time to apperceive what they accept been up to or if you can get calm for some fun or just afterlight anniversary added about the affairs in your life.
10. Move your butt, just move it-- it is like exercise, Just do affairs which crave action and action so that you don’t get bored. and run errands as well; like traveling to the mall, watched movies. But if you are so annoyed in the weekdays working, afresh there is a acumen not to move your butt, you accept befalling to just alluvion off to sleep. For me, I just get my accustomed beddy-bye afresh I chose to be mobile, I don't overslept as I get cephalalgia if I am beggared in the weekdays and I am acclimated to it on weekends.
11. Adore moments with your gf/bf/wife/love interest. If you are with a admired one, bonding is actual important during weekends as the two of you ability be together, for archetype if you are both alive on weekdays, accommodating anniversary added on weekends if you accept added time is a actual nice idea. Added allowance for lovemaking, LOL.
12. And the a lot of important of them all -- Yield time to adore activities with your ancestors --- If you accept a family, afresh it is time to band with anniversary other. Accouchement bethink the times you are with them for the blow of their lives, like arena together, traveling to the abundance calm or acknowledging them in their called sports for example. “Families that prays together, stays calm on weekends except for the ancestor who stays with another” just kidding.
50 Ways To Say I Love You On Valentine's Day!!!
Valentine's Day is a highly celebrated holiday thousands of arrangements are purchased, roses are given, balloons with sayings from "Will You Be Mine", to "I Love You" are giving every Valentine's day. Many try to do something unique and different just to show someone how much they care marriages are performed more on that day then any other time of the year. Creating 50 Ways to Say I Love You made me realize that it is not how much you spend on someone, it is how you say it I Love You and what it really means.
50. Write a Romantic Poem for him/her
49. Make lunch for him/her place a note inside the sandwich saying "I Love You"
48. If they are into texting send how you feel adding emoticons or special expressions to the text.
47. Fill the bathroom with heart shaped-balloon's, close the door and wait for them to open it.
46. Bake a heart shaped-cookie writing " I Love You" on the top to him/her
45. Get sexy for him/her create a sash expressing how you feel toward them and drape it over yourself.
44. Create little cards of things you would do for them , or would like to do to them. Remember to hold up to your promise.
43. Have a spare set of keys for the vehicle fill the car with helium filled balloons and when they open it every word you wish to say will come floating out into the sky for the world to see.
42. Make a romantic dinner light candle for two , turn off the cell phones, computers shut down the virtual world for an evening of romance.
41. Go to there work , yes you find a favorite song and sing it yourself to him/her. Who cares if you are out of tune they will love you for it!
40. Give him/her a back-rub with scented lotions and massage oils from head to toe, front to back.
39. Take turns with the responsibilites at home giving him/her a much needed break from the kids, cleaning etc. The boudoir' may be much better if you did.
38. Bubbles baths are wonderful for both him/her purchase some bubble bath , light the candles and set the mood for a relaxing and romantic evening.
37. Place a screen saver on there computer that says, " I Love You" when they first log-in.
36. Set a ringtone on his/her cellphone with a romantic song, for ex: " I Just Called To Say I Love You," by Stevie Wonder. The person on the other end of the phone will be smiling from ear to ear.
36. Learn how to say I Love You in a different language or two or three learn the dialect so that is sounds sexy!
35. Writer's are creative use different ways of saying " I Love You" be unique write it differently, one of hub pages best said it well on her blog Kathryn Vercillo , Thank you!
34. Create a video telling him/her why they are so special giving them clues to what the evening is going to entail and what you have planned.
33. Create a treasure hunt beginning in the early morning until the evening providing them clues/ trinkets that you can afford. Get there office/ facility etc involved on your plan. They would love to also join in on the excitement and fun.
32. Surprise engagement? Contact the restaurant or place that you will be going to ahead of time, ask them to present the ring on your behalf at an approximate moment. Get down on your knee to him/her and ask them to marry you.
31. Fresh rose petals are a little spendy but if you are on a budget your local craft store should have silk rose petals, sprinkle those across the bed , candlelight and soft music with set the made for this lover's night.
30. Have flowers delivered to his/her work while they are there , everyone will realize how important they are and maybe then that single person in the office will quit trying to hit on your one and only.
29. Leave a long stem rose next to the nightstand in the bedroom when they are taking a shower or bath or in the kitchen with a note next to it saying, " You are my one and only I am so glad that you are a part of my life. "
28. If you live at the beach trace a large heart in the sand expressing what you feel for him/her and sit right below the words in a blanket cuddling each other watching the waves come in. If you cannot do this, do the same thing in the snow or lawn, snow will melt and grass will grow back you will be happy that you did.
27. If you are purchasing pizza have them cut it into a heart-shaped pizza before it is delivered.
26. Get creative design a card created by you and mail it to her the day before Valentines day, if necessary ask the post office to make sure it is delivered on Valentine's day.
25. Purchase two t-shirts , purchase fabric paint and write a heartfelt message to each other.
24. Compliment him/her in public tell them how wonderful they look, smell, etc.
23. Purchase a day spa package for him/her giving them time to relax and enjoy life a little.
22. If both of you are avid sports fans purchase 2 tickets for just him/her best seats possible spending the day enjoying a game alone with twenty-thousand people.
21. Create a masquerade ball ask him/her to dress accordingly you purchase the masks and make it a secret love affair evening.
20. Create a romantic getaway tell him/her to pack lightly running away to a bed and breakfast for the weekend, no television, no cellphones, no computers just you and him/her.
19. Serve breakfast to him/her on Valentine's morning they will be wonderfully surprised.
18. If you shower first thing when you wake up write a love message in the steam.
17. Buy a charm bracelet for him/her with 14 unique charms give them to them from the 1st to the 14th day leading to the grand finale on Valentine's day.
16. Everyone loves lingerie purchase the sexiest piece of lingerie you can find for him/her wrap it beautifully in a heart-shaped box with a special message inside.
15. If you are on a limited budget but would like to purchase jewelry try purchasing silver or gold. If you do not have a budget go luxury with platinum. A heart-shaped necklace or a pair of earrings will make the evening shine.
14. Tell a friend how much you love him/her and why.
13. Listen to what him/her has to say pay attention if you need to jot it down , it makes them feel appreciated.
12. Dry his/her hair after there shower , brush and assist with blow drying. Doing something together makes him/her feel special.
11. If he/she tells you something in confidence don't go telling anyone else, you are there best friend and a person must keep a secret.
10. Gentleman chivalry please, " Open the door for her," Ladies, " Open the door from the inside this is quite mannerly and very caring. Who says chivalry is dead? Have a mutual respect for each other.
9. Trust one another's judgement , do not always be so critical of him/her.
8. Allow them to get involved and ask their opinion don't really the eyes but really listen, you may learn something.
7. Pick a movie that both of you can enjoy or allow him/her to pick there own movie and watch it together.
6. Always say " I Love You" before you go to bed, and " I Love You When You Wake up in the morning."
5. Hold his/her hand in public do not be afraid nor ashamed to show your feelings.
4. Share each others food, feed each other .
3. Blindfold him/her lead them to a destination or place remove the blindfold revealing what you had waiting.
2. Do some serious spooning and just cuddle
1. Not just on Valentine's day but each and everyday remind them how important they are to you.
50 ways to say I love you is not just about gifts, but about thoughts, feelings and emotions toward one another, just as much as a special gift the best gift of all is each other, finding the purpose and truth in the relationship and keeping the flame of passion burning.
Happy Valentine's Day!
50. Write a Romantic Poem for him/her
49. Make lunch for him/her place a note inside the sandwich saying "I Love You"
48. If they are into texting send how you feel adding emoticons or special expressions to the text.
47. Fill the bathroom with heart shaped-balloon's, close the door and wait for them to open it.
46. Bake a heart shaped-cookie writing " I Love You" on the top to him/her
45. Get sexy for him/her create a sash expressing how you feel toward them and drape it over yourself.
44. Create little cards of things you would do for them , or would like to do to them. Remember to hold up to your promise.
43. Have a spare set of keys for the vehicle fill the car with helium filled balloons and when they open it every word you wish to say will come floating out into the sky for the world to see.
42. Make a romantic dinner light candle for two , turn off the cell phones, computers shut down the virtual world for an evening of romance.
41. Go to there work , yes you find a favorite song and sing it yourself to him/her. Who cares if you are out of tune they will love you for it!
40. Give him/her a back-rub with scented lotions and massage oils from head to toe, front to back.
39. Take turns with the responsibilites at home giving him/her a much needed break from the kids, cleaning etc. The boudoir' may be much better if you did.
38. Bubbles baths are wonderful for both him/her purchase some bubble bath , light the candles and set the mood for a relaxing and romantic evening.
37. Place a screen saver on there computer that says, " I Love You" when they first log-in.
36. Set a ringtone on his/her cellphone with a romantic song, for ex: " I Just Called To Say I Love You," by Stevie Wonder. The person on the other end of the phone will be smiling from ear to ear.
36. Learn how to say I Love You in a different language or two or three learn the dialect so that is sounds sexy!
35. Writer's are creative use different ways of saying " I Love You" be unique write it differently, one of hub pages best said it well on her blog Kathryn Vercillo , Thank you!
34. Create a video telling him/her why they are so special giving them clues to what the evening is going to entail and what you have planned.
33. Create a treasure hunt beginning in the early morning until the evening providing them clues/ trinkets that you can afford. Get there office/ facility etc involved on your plan. They would love to also join in on the excitement and fun.
32. Surprise engagement? Contact the restaurant or place that you will be going to ahead of time, ask them to present the ring on your behalf at an approximate moment. Get down on your knee to him/her and ask them to marry you.
31. Fresh rose petals are a little spendy but if you are on a budget your local craft store should have silk rose petals, sprinkle those across the bed , candlelight and soft music with set the made for this lover's night.
30. Have flowers delivered to his/her work while they are there , everyone will realize how important they are and maybe then that single person in the office will quit trying to hit on your one and only.
29. Leave a long stem rose next to the nightstand in the bedroom when they are taking a shower or bath or in the kitchen with a note next to it saying, " You are my one and only I am so glad that you are a part of my life. "
28. If you live at the beach trace a large heart in the sand expressing what you feel for him/her and sit right below the words in a blanket cuddling each other watching the waves come in. If you cannot do this, do the same thing in the snow or lawn, snow will melt and grass will grow back you will be happy that you did.
27. If you are purchasing pizza have them cut it into a heart-shaped pizza before it is delivered.
26. Get creative design a card created by you and mail it to her the day before Valentines day, if necessary ask the post office to make sure it is delivered on Valentine's day.
25. Purchase two t-shirts , purchase fabric paint and write a heartfelt message to each other.
24. Compliment him/her in public tell them how wonderful they look, smell, etc.
23. Purchase a day spa package for him/her giving them time to relax and enjoy life a little.
22. If both of you are avid sports fans purchase 2 tickets for just him/her best seats possible spending the day enjoying a game alone with twenty-thousand people.
21. Create a masquerade ball ask him/her to dress accordingly you purchase the masks and make it a secret love affair evening.
20. Create a romantic getaway tell him/her to pack lightly running away to a bed and breakfast for the weekend, no television, no cellphones, no computers just you and him/her.
19. Serve breakfast to him/her on Valentine's morning they will be wonderfully surprised.
18. If you shower first thing when you wake up write a love message in the steam.
17. Buy a charm bracelet for him/her with 14 unique charms give them to them from the 1st to the 14th day leading to the grand finale on Valentine's day.
16. Everyone loves lingerie purchase the sexiest piece of lingerie you can find for him/her wrap it beautifully in a heart-shaped box with a special message inside.
15. If you are on a limited budget but would like to purchase jewelry try purchasing silver or gold. If you do not have a budget go luxury with platinum. A heart-shaped necklace or a pair of earrings will make the evening shine.
14. Tell a friend how much you love him/her and why.
13. Listen to what him/her has to say pay attention if you need to jot it down , it makes them feel appreciated.
12. Dry his/her hair after there shower , brush and assist with blow drying. Doing something together makes him/her feel special.
11. If he/she tells you something in confidence don't go telling anyone else, you are there best friend and a person must keep a secret.
10. Gentleman chivalry please, " Open the door for her," Ladies, " Open the door from the inside this is quite mannerly and very caring. Who says chivalry is dead? Have a mutual respect for each other.
9. Trust one another's judgement , do not always be so critical of him/her.
8. Allow them to get involved and ask their opinion don't really the eyes but really listen, you may learn something.
7. Pick a movie that both of you can enjoy or allow him/her to pick there own movie and watch it together.
6. Always say " I Love You" before you go to bed, and " I Love You When You Wake up in the morning."
5. Hold his/her hand in public do not be afraid nor ashamed to show your feelings.
4. Share each others food, feed each other .
3. Blindfold him/her lead them to a destination or place remove the blindfold revealing what you had waiting.
2. Do some serious spooning and just cuddle
1. Not just on Valentine's day but each and everyday remind them how important they are to you.
50 ways to say I love you is not just about gifts, but about thoughts, feelings and emotions toward one another, just as much as a special gift the best gift of all is each other, finding the purpose and truth in the relationship and keeping the flame of passion burning.
Happy Valentine's Day!
25 Funny Best Friend Quotes
1. "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read" - Groucho Marx
2. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you" - Rita Mae Brown
3. "No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend" - Groucho Marx
4. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." - Bernard Meltzer
5. "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - Winnie The Pooh
6. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." - Jim Hayes
7. "Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." - Ed Cunningham
8. "A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." - Lois Wyse
9. "It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter." - Marlene Dietrich
10. "A true friend stabs you in the front." - Oscar Wilde
11. "I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" - Archie Bunker
12. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey
13. "There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool." G. K. Chesterton
14. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money". - Benjamin Franklin
15. "One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim." - George Carlin
16. "A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling." - Arthur Brisbane
17. "You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog." - Harry S. Truman
18. "The best time to make friends is before you need them." - Ether Barrymore
19. "We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends." - P. D. James
20. "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people." - Gilbert K. Chesterton
21. "You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job". - Laurence Sterne
22. "The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read." - Abraham Lincoln
23. "The cat could well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." - Doug Larson
24. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money." - Benjamin Franklin
25. "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." - Mark Twain
2. "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you" - Rita Mae Brown
3. "No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend" - Groucho Marx
4. "A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." - Bernard Meltzer
5. "You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes." - Winnie The Pooh
6. "An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body." - Jim Hayes
7. "Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer." - Ed Cunningham
8. "A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." - Lois Wyse
9. "It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter." - Marlene Dietrich
10. "A true friend stabs you in the front." - Oscar Wilde
11. "I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!" - Archie Bunker
12. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." - Oprah Winfrey
13. "There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool." G. K. Chesterton
14. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money". - Benjamin Franklin
15. "One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim." - George Carlin
16. "A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling." - Arthur Brisbane
17. "You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog." - Harry S. Truman
18. "The best time to make friends is before you need them." - Ether Barrymore
19. "We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends." - P. D. James
20. "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people." - Gilbert K. Chesterton
21. "You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself, he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job". - Laurence Sterne
22. "The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read." - Abraham Lincoln
23. "The cat could well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." - Doug Larson
24. "There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money." - Benjamin Franklin
25. "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." - Mark Twain
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Commenter Keyboard
Dear Bill Gates,
Here's a model I came up with for your next generation keyboards.
(Left Side Keyboard)
(Right Side Keyboard)
(Number Pad)
Here's a model I came up with for your next generation keyboards.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Smart Student
The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late.
Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."
Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family.
A 'smart' student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?"
As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look.
"Well," he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand."
The memory test
Three elderly men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man. “What is three times three?” “200” is his reply. The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and asks the second man, “it’s your turn. “What is three times three?” “Sunday,” replies the second man. The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man. “Okay, your turn. “What is three times three?” “Nine” says the third man. “That’s great! Says the doctor. “How did you get that?” “Simple,” he says, “Just substract 200 from Sunday.”
Who is Stupid???
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed Math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is asking you a Math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”
The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. “What is two plus two?”
The player thought gor a moment and then answered, “4?”
Did you say “4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.
Suddenly all the other player on the team began screaming…..,
“COME ON COACH, GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!”
The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. “What is two plus two?”
The player thought gor a moment and then answered, “4?”
Did you say “4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.
Suddenly all the other player on the team began screaming…..,
“COME ON COACH, GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!!”
Interviewer and interviewee
Interviewer: Your Name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me properly.
Interviewee: Mohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your father's name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What dose that mean?
Interviewee: Manmohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your native place?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Madhya Pradesh?
Interviewee: No, Munnur Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: What is your qualification?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer (Angrily): What is it?
Interviewee: Matric Pass.
Interviewer: Why do you need a job?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: And what does that mean?
Interviewee: Money problem, Sir.
Interviewer: Describe your personality.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Explain yourself clearly.
Interviewee: Magnanimous personality, Sir.
Interviewer: This discussion is now over. You may go now.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What is it now?
Interviewee: My performance, Sir?
Interviewer: M.P.!!!
Interviewee: What is that, Sir.
Interviewer: Mentally punctured!
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Tell me properly.
Interviewee: Mohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your father's name?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What dose that mean?
Interviewee: Manmohan Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: Your native place?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Madhya Pradesh?
Interviewee: No, Munnur Pal, Sir.
Interviewer: What is your qualification?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer (Angrily): What is it?
Interviewee: Matric Pass.
Interviewer: Why do you need a job?
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: And what does that mean?
Interviewee: Money problem, Sir.
Interviewer: Describe your personality.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: Explain yourself clearly.
Interviewee: Magnanimous personality, Sir.
Interviewer: This discussion is now over. You may go now.
Interviewee: M.P., Sir.
Interviewer: What is it now?
Interviewee: My performance, Sir?
Interviewer: M.P.!!!
Interviewee: What is that, Sir.
Interviewer: Mentally punctured!
Can You Read These Correctly, The First Time? And Other Fun Language Puzzlers
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
- There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.
- There is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
- English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France.
- Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that...
...quicksand can work slowly
...boxing rings are square
...a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
And why is it that
- writers write but fingers don't fing?
- grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
- if the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
- if one goose, 2 geese, why not one moose, 2 meese? And what's up with one index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that...
...you can make amends but not one amend?
...if you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
...if teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
...if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people...
...recite at a play and play at a recital?
...ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
...have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which...
...your house can burn up as it burns down
...you fill in a form by filling it out
...an alarm goes off by going on
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick”?
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
- There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.
- There is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
- English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France.
- Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that...
...quicksand can work slowly
...boxing rings are square
...a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
And why is it that
- writers write but fingers don't fing?
- grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
- if the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
- if one goose, 2 geese, why not one moose, 2 meese? And what's up with one index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that...
...you can make amends but not one amend?
...if you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
...if teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
...if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what language do people...
...recite at a play and play at a recital?
...ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
...have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which...
...your house can burn up as it burns down
...you fill in a form by filling it out
...an alarm goes off by going on
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick”?
Some Interesting Things To Think About
- Can you cry under water?
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- What do you call male ballerinas?
- If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
- If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- What do you call male ballerinas?
- If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Did you know that...
- π=3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 ...
- A sphere has two sides. However, there are one-sided surfaces.
- There are shapes of constant width other than the circle. One can even drill square holes.
- There are just five regular polyhedra
- In a group of 23 people, at least two have the same birthday with the probability greater than 1/2
- Everything you can do with a ruler and a compass you can do with the compass alone
- Among all shapes with the same perimeter a circle has the largest area.
- There are curves that fill a plane without holes
- Much as with people, there are irrational, perfect, complex numbers
- As in philosophy, there are transcendental numbers
- As in the art, there are imaginary and surreal numbers
- A straight line has dimension 1, a plane - 2. Fractals have mostly fractional dimension
- You are wrong if you think Mathematics is not fun
- Mathematics studies neighborhoods, groups and free groups, rings, ideals, holes, poles and removable poles, trees, growth ...
- Mathematics also studies models, shapes, curves, cardinals, similarity, consistency, completeness, space ...
- Among objects of mathematical study are heredity, continuity, jumps, infinity, infinitesimals, paradoxes...
- Last but not the least, Mathematics studies stability, projections and values, values are often absolute but may also be extreme, local or global.
- Trigonometry aside, Mathematics comprises fields like Game Theory, Braids Theory, Knot Theory and more
- One is morally obligated not to do anything impossible
- Some numbers are square, yet others are triangular
- The next sentence is true but you must not believe it
- The previous sentence was false
- 12+3-4+5+67+8+9=100 and there exists at least one other representation of 100 with 9 digits in the right order and math operations in between
- One can cut a pie into 8 pieces with three movements
- Program=Algorithms+Data Structures
- There is something the dead eat but if the living eat it, they die.
- A clock never showing right time might be preferable to the one showing right time twice a day
- Among all shapes with the same area circle has the shortest perimeter
- Curves of infinite length may enclose finite areas.
- Falsity implies anything.
- There is order in chaos.
- To get cafe au lait one should carry coffee to milk and not milk to coffee.
- Sets may be thick, thin and normal.
- In some circumstances index equals the content.
- In other circumstances, an index may have a content of its own.
- There are things distant yet near. There are others that are near yet distant.
- There are three plane regions that share exactly the same boundary.
- A continuous linear function must have the form f(x)=ax. Discontinuous linear functions look dreadful.
- A continuous function may grow considerably virtually without changing.
- You can't add apples and oranges but you can add their shapes.
- There are many things that can be added: numbers, vectors, matrices, spaces, shapes, sets, functions, equations, strings, chains...
- Among any two integers or real numbers one is larger, another smaller. But you can't compare two complex numbers.
- The only triangle with rational sides and angles is equilateral.
- 0!=1
- One is morally obligated to do everything impossible.
- The word 'fraction' derives from the Latin fractio - to break. However, there are continuous fractions.
- For every object there is a distance at which it looks its best.
- At any given time in New York there live at least two people with the same number of hairs.
- Sometimes in order to add one has to take the difference.
- Demographic tests show that the person least likely to buy Wired magazine is an American schoolteacher.
- Complex numbers are in a sense perfect while there is little doubt that perfect numbers are complex.
- You can position 10 defenders of a square castle so that on every side there will be 5 men.
- There are many things that can be multiplied: numbers, vectors, matrices, functions, equations, sets, pegs...
- A torus may be brushed smooth but a sphere can not.
- A circle may be quite useful in drawing straight lines.
- In the sequence of all integers, there are arbitrary long runs with no primes.
- With just one caveat, anything you can do with a compass and a ruler you can do with the ruler alone.
- There are really impossible things.
- You can add apples and oranges.
- Complex number to a complex power may be real.
- Irrational number to an irrational power may be rational.
- There are trisectable angles that are not constructible.
- There exist triangular numbers that are also square.
- No two integers are equidistant from the square root of 2
- Almost every integer has a digit 3 in it
- C0 - C0 = [-1, 1]
- The length of the diagonal of the unit square equals the square root of 2
- Every composite number is the product of some factors and also the some of the same numbers
- Simple quadrilaterals tessellate the plane
- There is a simple solution to the affirmative action problem
- Two simple polygons of equal area can be dissected into a finite number of congruent polygons
- cos(36°) = (1 + √5)/4
- 1/3 + 1/4 = 7/12
- Σ2-n = Σn·2-n
- Bisector of an imaginary angle may be real
- Any infinite set contains uncountably many nested subsets
Random Interesting Facts & Laws!
Here are a load of random interesting facts:
Almonds are members of the peach family
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
When you sneeze, all your bodily functions stop even your heart.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white
A full-grown bear can run as fast as a horse.
The cells that make up the antlers of a moose are the fastest growing animal cells in nature.
A cockroach can live 9 days without its head before it starves to death.
A hippo can run faster than a man can.
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
A lion's roar can be heard from five miles away.
Flies jump backwards when they take off.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning
The fastest typist can type at 211 words per minute.
The song with the longest title is "I'm a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank on the Streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu Mama Doin' Those Beat-o, Beat-o Flat-On-My-Seat-o, Hirohito Blues" written by Hoagy Carmichael in 1943.
The Hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 in China in 1910
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year
Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.
The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian which was founded in Constantinople in 1623.
The letters of the alphabet in order of frequency of use are:
ETAISONHRDLUCMFWYPGVBKJQXZ
A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge.
Every year more people are killed by donkeys, than in aircraft crashes.
The first word spoken on the moon was Okay.
2,500 left handers die each year using products designed for right handers.
Your nose and ears never stop growing!!
All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. "Cept Nurple" Kyle
The longest place-name still in use is:
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupoka-wenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.
The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
A clitoris is a type of flower
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Money isn't made out of paper. It's made out of Cotton!
Many hamsters only blink one eye ata time!
One googol written out is:
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
If you sleep in a cold room, you are more likely to have a bad dream.
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.
The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
Almonds are members of the peach family
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
When you sneeze, all your bodily functions stop even your heart.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white
A full-grown bear can run as fast as a horse.
The cells that make up the antlers of a moose are the fastest growing animal cells in nature.
A cockroach can live 9 days without its head before it starves to death.
A hippo can run faster than a man can.
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food.
A lion's roar can be heard from five miles away.
Flies jump backwards when they take off.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning
The fastest typist can type at 211 words per minute.
The song with the longest title is "I'm a Cranky Old Yank in a Clanky Old Tank on the Streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu Mama Doin' Those Beat-o, Beat-o Flat-On-My-Seat-o, Hirohito Blues" written by Hoagy Carmichael in 1943.
The Hummingbird is the only bird that can fly backwards
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 in China in 1910
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year
Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.
The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian which was founded in Constantinople in 1623.
The letters of the alphabet in order of frequency of use are:
ETAISONHRDLUCMFWYPGVBKJQXZ
A quarter has 119 grooves around the edge.
Every year more people are killed by donkeys, than in aircraft crashes.
The first word spoken on the moon was Okay.
2,500 left handers die each year using products designed for right handers.
Your nose and ears never stop growing!!
All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. "Cept Nurple" Kyle
The longest place-name still in use is:
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupoka-wenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill.
The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.
A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
A clitoris is a type of flower
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Money isn't made out of paper. It's made out of Cotton!
Many hamsters only blink one eye ata time!
One googol written out is:
10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,
000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.
If you sleep in a cold room, you are more likely to have a bad dream.
The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.
The average person has over 1,460 dreams a year.
The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
The word lethologica describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
Polar bears are left-handed.
The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesnt wear pants.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
When Coca-Cola began to be sold in China, they used characters that would sound like "Coca-Cola" when spoken. Unfortunately, what they turned out to mean was "Bite the wax tadpole". It did not sell well.
It's impossible to sneeze without closing your eyes.
Czar Paul 1 banished soldiers to Siberia for marching out of step.
The male scorpion fly gets other males to bring him food by imitating a female fly.
WWI flying ace Jean Navarre attacked a zeppelin armed with only a kitchen knife!
there are more plastic flamingos in amercia than reall ones.
a snail can sleep for 3 years.
In Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an icecream cone in your back pocket
Pigs orgasms last 30 minutes
The Danish word for condom is 'svangerskabsforebyggendemiddel' (PB)
Rats can't vomit
A normal dial tone is in the key of "F".
2
The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans.
Carnivores will not eat an animal that has been hit by lightning.
A dork is a whale's penis
A Humming bird weighs less than a penny
A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
MTV first aired at 12:01 AM on August 1, 1981. The first video was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles.
"Adolf Hitler's real family name was Shickelgruber."
Weird" Al Yankovic received a Bachelor's degree in Architecture in 1981. He also served as valedictorian of his high school at age 16.
The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian which was founded in Constantinople in 1623.
Contrary to common belief, elephants are not afraid of mice. Go to any zoo and chances are that the mice are living in the same quarters as the elephants. The mice eat the grain and nest in the hay that is so common to elephant habitats.
The five most stolen items in a drugstore are batteries, cosmetics, film, sunglasses, and, get this, Preparation H
four separate instances between October 1987 and February 1988, small pink frogs rained down from the sky on to various parts of Great Britain. Scientists are still uncertain as to where these frogs originated, although some have traced them back to the Sahara desert.
The Malaysian government decided to solve their disease-carrying mosquito problem by spraying the infested areas with DDT. This worked, but the cockroaches then devoured the dead mosquitos. This was followed by the region's gecko lizards consuming the roaches. The geckos did not die from the residual poison (surprisingly), but their central nervous systems were greatly affected, causing the lizards to slow down. Moving up the food chain, the cats ate the slow-moving lizards and started to die off in large quantities. Of course, fewer cats means more rats, and the country's rat population soared. As a result, the World Health Organization was forced to step in and ban the DDT. In an effort to restore the ecological balance, they flew in planeloads of cats to kill the rats
Did you ever wonder what the WD in WD-40 stands for? The name was lifted right out chemist Norm Larsen's laboratory notebook. Way back in 1953, he was trying to concoct an anti-corrosion formula, which worked on the basic principle of displacing water. On his 40th try, Larsen finally got it right. Hence the name WD-40. It literally means Water Displacer, 40th try.
Way back on August 13, 1903, police entered the Liverpool, England home of William and Emily Shortis. Worried friends had contacted the authorities because the couple had not been seen for several days prior. There they found William near death. Oddly, he was pinned under the dead body of his 224 pound wife. Did she die during a moment of passion? Not at all. The coroner concluded that William was following Emily up the stairs of their home when she lost her balance and tumbled down the steps, pulling him down with her. Emily immediately died from a blow to the head, trapping William under her body for over three days. Sadly, William did not survive his injuries, either.
Frenchman Michel Lotito has a very unusual diet. Born on June 15, 1950, he has been consuming large quantities of metal and glass since he was nine years old. To date, he has eaten supermarket carts, television sets, bicycles, chandeliers, razor blades, bullets, nuts and bolts, lengths of chain, phonograph records, computers, and an entire Cessna 150 light aircraft (which took him nearly two years to consume). It seems that his body has adjusted to this unusual diet, as he eats nearly two pounds of metal every day. His technique includes lubricating his digestive tract with mineral oil, cutting the parts into bite-size pieces, and then consuming a large quantity of water while eating this junk. Most people would prefer a nice glass of wine with their dinner.
Catnip, or Nepeta cataria, is an herb with nepetalactone in it. Many think that when cats inhale nepetalactone, it affects hormones that arouse sexual feelings, or at least alter their brain functioning to make them feel "high." Catnip was originally made, using nepetalactone as a natural bug repellant, but roaming cats would rip up the plants before they could be put to their intended task
The giant tortoise can live longer in captivity than any other animal.
Dogs have about 100 different facial expressions, most of them made with the ears.
Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
Elephants have been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
Frogs never drink. They absorb water from their surroundings by osmosis.
Boredom can lead to madness in parrots. When caged by themselves and neglected for long periods of time, these intelligent, sociable birds can easily become mentally ill. Many inflict wounds upon themselves, develop strange tics, and rip out their own feathers. The birds need constant interaction, affection, and mental stimulation; some bird authorities have determined that some parrot breeds have the mental abilities of a 5-year-old human child. Should a neglected parrot go mad, there is little that can be done to restore it to normalcy. In England, there are "mental institutions" for such unfortunate creatures.
Mice, whales, elephants, giraffes, and humans all have seven neck vertebra.
President Woodrow Wilson wrote all of his speeches in longhand.
One year, Elvis Presley paid 91% of his annual income to the IRS.
Hitler was claustrophobic. They had to install a mirror in an elevator just to keep him from being scared.
Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave
Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any
There was a prehistoric horse breed (called eohippus) that was about the size of a housecat.
Allodoxaphobia is the fear of opinions
A group of owls is called a parliament.
Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any group of mammals that exist- especially fruit bats
8% of us have regular anal sex.
You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.
It is physically impossible to lick your elbow.
In 1977 a 13 year old boy had a tooth growing out of his foot
The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B.
Did you know that in Florida, a baby was named Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestdestiny? If you cant figure out what it REALLY says broken up into pieces, here yah go: True will laughing life bucky boomer manifest destiny.
Soldiers disease" is a term for morphine addiction. The Civil War produced over 400,000 morphine addicts.
These are a bunch of pole facts!
The Average American/Canadian eats about 11.9lbs of cereal per year.
The Average American/Canadian drinks about 600 sodas per year.
More People use blue toothbrushes then red ones.
According to a 1995 survey, 7 out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their doting owners.
The average American family views television six hours each day.
About two hundred babies are born worldwide every minute.
Nobody yet has explained satisfactorily why couples who marry in January, February, and March tend to have the highest divorce rates.
Your statistical chance of being murdered is one in twenty thousand.
If you earn twenty thousand dollars a year, one minute of your time is worth a little more than seventeen cents.
The US Office of Consumer Affairs estimates 25 percent of ALL purchases result in some customer dissatisfaction. Yet two out of three people never complain because they don't think it'll help. Ironically, most businesses DO try to make good and value the feedback, especially from someone who doesn't make a habit of complaining.
One poll says one American in four has yet to ride in an airplane. As for the three out of four who have, most have flown several times. Incidentally, fewer than two percent have been "bumped" from a commercial flight. And for every person who prefers an aisle seat, there are three who prefer windows.
Five out of six people never keep diaries of any sort. Only six percent say they keep a daily diary, and many of these people are just Franklin Day Planner types, not real diarists.
Despite the fact that 77 percent of Americans go to the grocery store with a list, it's estimated that half of everything bought there is bought on impulse. Supermarkets report very strong sales of almost anything they stock at the check-out line.
More than one-third of us say our most difficult self-discipline challenge is weight, but almost as many cite spending. Coming in way behind these two are controlling our fears or our tempers, and fewer than two percent say their biggest challenge is smoking or drinking.
Two out of three people sleep on their sides, and they're about equally divided as to WHICH side. Of the remainder, slightly more sleep on their stomachs than sleep on their backs.
Forty percent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip correctly.
A survey finds that a quarter of all people who take a briefcase or something similar to work with them have got SOMETHING in it for self-defense.
Paranormal experts say people reach the peak of their ability to see ghosts when they're 7 years old.
Someone on Earth reports seeing a UFO every three minutes. In the U.S., reported sightings are most likely to occur in July, at 9 p.m. or 3 a.m.
Someone within 200 miles of your town claims to have had direct contact with a monster, ghost or other unexplainable being.
As many as nine out of ten people are right-handed, and the word for that side, "right," is derived from a variety of sources, all of which suggest strength. Left, on the other hand, comes from the Old English, lyft, for useless, weak.
The average New York City household generates 6.2 pounds of garbage each day. Every day, between 12,000 and 14,000 tons of solid waste are disposed at the Fresh Kills Landfill in Staten Island, New York.
The average human scalp has 100,000 hairs.
As much as six percent of the world's population may experience sleep paralysis, the inability to move and speak for several minutes after awakening.
Tide has 70 percent of the market share for detergent.
Forty percent of the American population has never visited a dentist.
A NUKE InterNETWORK poll found that 52 percent of Internet users have cut back on watching TV in order to spend more time online; 12 percent have cut back on seeing friends.
10 Percent of men are left-handed while only 8 percent of women are left-handed. Male or female, all left-handed people are "in their right mind."
A 1997 Gallup poll found that about one in four American workers - 24 percent - said that if they could do so, they would fire their boss.
A recent Gallup poll shows that 69 percent of Americans believe they will go somewhere after death.
These are a bunch of weird lawas! YAYAY!
Theaters in Glendale, California can show horror films only on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.
You can't plow a cotton field with an elephant in North Carolina.
In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes.
Under the law of Mississippi, theres no such thing as a female Peeping Tom.
Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term.
Lawn darts are illegal in Canada.
In Idaho a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.
Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year.
It is against the law to whale hunt in Oklahoma. (Think about it...)
A Venetian law decrees that all gondolas must be painted black. The only exceptions are gondolas belonging to high public officials.
In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs (hotel/bar) must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.
According to law, no store is allowed to sell a toothbrush on the Sabbath in Providence, Rhode Island. Yet these same stores are allowed to sell toothpaste and mouthwash on Sundays.
Before the enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets, approximately 40 million pounds of dog excrement were deposited on the streets every year.
Chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."
The handkerchief had been used by the Romans, who ordinarily wore two handkerchiefs: one on the left wrist and one tucked in at the waist or around the neck. In the fifteenth century, the handkerchief was for a time allowed only to the nobility; special laws were made to enforce this. The classical heritage was rediscovered during the Renaissance.
For hundreds of years, the Chinese zealously guarded the secret of sericulture; imperial law decreed death by torture to those who disclosed how to make silk.
An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
By law, information collected in a U.S. census must remain confidential for 72 years.
Candy made from pieces of barrel cactus was outlawed in the U.S. in 1952 to protect the species.
A slander case in Thailand was once settled by a witness who said nothing at all. According to the memoirs of Justice Gerald Sparrow, a 20th century British barrister who served as a judge in Bangkok, the case involved two rival Chinese merchants. Pu Lin and Swee Ho. Pu Lin had stated sneeringly at a party that Swee Ho's new wife, Li Bua, was merely a decoration to show how rich her husband was. Swee Ho, he said, could no longer "please the ladies." Swee Ho sued for slander, claiming Li Bua was his wife in every sense - and he won his case, along with substantial damages, without a word of evidence being taken. Swee Ho's lawyer simply put the blushing bride in the witness box. She had decorative, gold-painted fingernails, to be sure, but she was also quite obviously pregnant.
In Breton, Alabama, there is a law on the town's books against riding down the street in a motorboat.
Connecticut and Rhode Island never ratified the 18th Amendment: Prohibition.
A few years back, a Chinese soap hit it big with consumers in Asia. It was claimed in ads that users would lose weight with Seaweed Defat Scented Soap simply by washing with it. The soap was sold in violation to the Japanese Pharmaceutical Affairs Law and was banned. Reportedly, the craze for the soap was so great that Japanese tourists from China and Hong Kong brought back large quantities. The product was also in violation of customs regulations. In June and July 1999 alone, over 10,000 bars were seized.
In most American states, a wedding ring is exempt by law from inclusion among the assets in a bankruptcy estate. This means that a wedding ring cannot be seized by creditors, no matter how much the bankrupt person owes.
In New York State, it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.
Vermont, Alaska, Hawaii, and Maine are the four states in the U.S. that do not allow billboards.
Wetaskiwin, Alberta from 1917: "It's against the law to tie a male horse next to a female horse on Main Street."
Women were banned by royal decree from using hotel swimming pools in Jidda, Saudi Arabia, in 1979.
In Riverside, California, there is an old law on the city's books which makes it illegal to kiss unless both people wipe their lips with rose water.
In Saudi Arabia, a woman reportedly may divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee.
The word lethologica describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
Polar bears are left-handed.
The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesnt wear pants.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
When Coca-Cola began to be sold in China, they used characters that would sound like "Coca-Cola" when spoken. Unfortunately, what they turned out to mean was "Bite the wax tadpole". It did not sell well.
It's impossible to sneeze without closing your eyes.
Czar Paul 1 banished soldiers to Siberia for marching out of step.
The male scorpion fly gets other males to bring him food by imitating a female fly.
WWI flying ace Jean Navarre attacked a zeppelin armed with only a kitchen knife!
there are more plastic flamingos in amercia than reall ones.
a snail can sleep for 3 years.
In Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an icecream cone in your back pocket
Pigs orgasms last 30 minutes
The Danish word for condom is 'svangerskabsforebyggendemiddel' (PB)
Rats can't vomit
A normal dial tone is in the key of "F".
2
The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans.
Carnivores will not eat an animal that has been hit by lightning.
A dork is a whale's penis
A Humming bird weighs less than a penny
A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
MTV first aired at 12:01 AM on August 1, 1981. The first video was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by the Buggles.
"Adolf Hitler's real family name was Shickelgruber."
Weird" Al Yankovic received a Bachelor's degree in Architecture in 1981. He also served as valedictorian of his high school at age 16.
The oldest business in the United States of America is the cymbal company Zildjian which was founded in Constantinople in 1623.
Contrary to common belief, elephants are not afraid of mice. Go to any zoo and chances are that the mice are living in the same quarters as the elephants. The mice eat the grain and nest in the hay that is so common to elephant habitats.
The five most stolen items in a drugstore are batteries, cosmetics, film, sunglasses, and, get this, Preparation H
four separate instances between October 1987 and February 1988, small pink frogs rained down from the sky on to various parts of Great Britain. Scientists are still uncertain as to where these frogs originated, although some have traced them back to the Sahara desert.
The Malaysian government decided to solve their disease-carrying mosquito problem by spraying the infested areas with DDT. This worked, but the cockroaches then devoured the dead mosquitos. This was followed by the region's gecko lizards consuming the roaches. The geckos did not die from the residual poison (surprisingly), but their central nervous systems were greatly affected, causing the lizards to slow down. Moving up the food chain, the cats ate the slow-moving lizards and started to die off in large quantities. Of course, fewer cats means more rats, and the country's rat population soared. As a result, the World Health Organization was forced to step in and ban the DDT. In an effort to restore the ecological balance, they flew in planeloads of cats to kill the rats
Did you ever wonder what the WD in WD-40 stands for? The name was lifted right out chemist Norm Larsen's laboratory notebook. Way back in 1953, he was trying to concoct an anti-corrosion formula, which worked on the basic principle of displacing water. On his 40th try, Larsen finally got it right. Hence the name WD-40. It literally means Water Displacer, 40th try.
Way back on August 13, 1903, police entered the Liverpool, England home of William and Emily Shortis. Worried friends had contacted the authorities because the couple had not been seen for several days prior. There they found William near death. Oddly, he was pinned under the dead body of his 224 pound wife. Did she die during a moment of passion? Not at all. The coroner concluded that William was following Emily up the stairs of their home when she lost her balance and tumbled down the steps, pulling him down with her. Emily immediately died from a blow to the head, trapping William under her body for over three days. Sadly, William did not survive his injuries, either.
Frenchman Michel Lotito has a very unusual diet. Born on June 15, 1950, he has been consuming large quantities of metal and glass since he was nine years old. To date, he has eaten supermarket carts, television sets, bicycles, chandeliers, razor blades, bullets, nuts and bolts, lengths of chain, phonograph records, computers, and an entire Cessna 150 light aircraft (which took him nearly two years to consume). It seems that his body has adjusted to this unusual diet, as he eats nearly two pounds of metal every day. His technique includes lubricating his digestive tract with mineral oil, cutting the parts into bite-size pieces, and then consuming a large quantity of water while eating this junk. Most people would prefer a nice glass of wine with their dinner.
Catnip, or Nepeta cataria, is an herb with nepetalactone in it. Many think that when cats inhale nepetalactone, it affects hormones that arouse sexual feelings, or at least alter their brain functioning to make them feel "high." Catnip was originally made, using nepetalactone as a natural bug repellant, but roaming cats would rip up the plants before they could be put to their intended task
The giant tortoise can live longer in captivity than any other animal.
Dogs have about 100 different facial expressions, most of them made with the ears.
Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
Elephants have been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
Frogs never drink. They absorb water from their surroundings by osmosis.
Boredom can lead to madness in parrots. When caged by themselves and neglected for long periods of time, these intelligent, sociable birds can easily become mentally ill. Many inflict wounds upon themselves, develop strange tics, and rip out their own feathers. The birds need constant interaction, affection, and mental stimulation; some bird authorities have determined that some parrot breeds have the mental abilities of a 5-year-old human child. Should a neglected parrot go mad, there is little that can be done to restore it to normalcy. In England, there are "mental institutions" for such unfortunate creatures.
Mice, whales, elephants, giraffes, and humans all have seven neck vertebra.
President Woodrow Wilson wrote all of his speeches in longhand.
One year, Elvis Presley paid 91% of his annual income to the IRS.
Hitler was claustrophobic. They had to install a mirror in an elevator just to keep him from being scared.
Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave
Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any
There was a prehistoric horse breed (called eohippus) that was about the size of a housecat.
Allodoxaphobia is the fear of opinions
A group of owls is called a parliament.
Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any group of mammals that exist- especially fruit bats
8% of us have regular anal sex.
You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss.
It is physically impossible to lick your elbow.
In 1977 a 13 year old boy had a tooth growing out of his foot
The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B.
Did you know that in Florida, a baby was named Truewilllaughinglifebuckyboomermanifestdestiny? If you cant figure out what it REALLY says broken up into pieces, here yah go: True will laughing life bucky boomer manifest destiny.
Soldiers disease" is a term for morphine addiction. The Civil War produced over 400,000 morphine addicts.
These are a bunch of pole facts!
The Average American/Canadian eats about 11.9lbs of cereal per year.
The Average American/Canadian drinks about 600 sodas per year.
More People use blue toothbrushes then red ones.
According to a 1995 survey, 7 out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their doting owners.
The average American family views television six hours each day.
About two hundred babies are born worldwide every minute.
Nobody yet has explained satisfactorily why couples who marry in January, February, and March tend to have the highest divorce rates.
Your statistical chance of being murdered is one in twenty thousand.
If you earn twenty thousand dollars a year, one minute of your time is worth a little more than seventeen cents.
The US Office of Consumer Affairs estimates 25 percent of ALL purchases result in some customer dissatisfaction. Yet two out of three people never complain because they don't think it'll help. Ironically, most businesses DO try to make good and value the feedback, especially from someone who doesn't make a habit of complaining.
One poll says one American in four has yet to ride in an airplane. As for the three out of four who have, most have flown several times. Incidentally, fewer than two percent have been "bumped" from a commercial flight. And for every person who prefers an aisle seat, there are three who prefer windows.
Five out of six people never keep diaries of any sort. Only six percent say they keep a daily diary, and many of these people are just Franklin Day Planner types, not real diarists.
Despite the fact that 77 percent of Americans go to the grocery store with a list, it's estimated that half of everything bought there is bought on impulse. Supermarkets report very strong sales of almost anything they stock at the check-out line.
More than one-third of us say our most difficult self-discipline challenge is weight, but almost as many cite spending. Coming in way behind these two are controlling our fears or our tempers, and fewer than two percent say their biggest challenge is smoking or drinking.
Two out of three people sleep on their sides, and they're about equally divided as to WHICH side. Of the remainder, slightly more sleep on their stomachs than sleep on their backs.
Forty percent of American adults cannot fill out a bank deposit slip correctly.
A survey finds that a quarter of all people who take a briefcase or something similar to work with them have got SOMETHING in it for self-defense.
Paranormal experts say people reach the peak of their ability to see ghosts when they're 7 years old.
Someone on Earth reports seeing a UFO every three minutes. In the U.S., reported sightings are most likely to occur in July, at 9 p.m. or 3 a.m.
Someone within 200 miles of your town claims to have had direct contact with a monster, ghost or other unexplainable being.
As many as nine out of ten people are right-handed, and the word for that side, "right," is derived from a variety of sources, all of which suggest strength. Left, on the other hand, comes from the Old English, lyft, for useless, weak.
The average New York City household generates 6.2 pounds of garbage each day. Every day, between 12,000 and 14,000 tons of solid waste are disposed at the Fresh Kills Landfill in Staten Island, New York.
The average human scalp has 100,000 hairs.
As much as six percent of the world's population may experience sleep paralysis, the inability to move and speak for several minutes after awakening.
Tide has 70 percent of the market share for detergent.
Forty percent of the American population has never visited a dentist.
A NUKE InterNETWORK poll found that 52 percent of Internet users have cut back on watching TV in order to spend more time online; 12 percent have cut back on seeing friends.
10 Percent of men are left-handed while only 8 percent of women are left-handed. Male or female, all left-handed people are "in their right mind."
A 1997 Gallup poll found that about one in four American workers - 24 percent - said that if they could do so, they would fire their boss.
A recent Gallup poll shows that 69 percent of Americans believe they will go somewhere after death.
These are a bunch of weird lawas! YAYAY!
Theaters in Glendale, California can show horror films only on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday.
You can't plow a cotton field with an elephant in North Carolina.
In Lehigh, Nebraska it's against the law to sell donut holes.
Under the law of Mississippi, theres no such thing as a female Peeping Tom.
Anti-modem laws restrict Internet access in the country of Burma. Illegal possession of a modem can lead to a prison term.
Lawn darts are illegal in Canada.
In Idaho a citizen is forbidden by law to give another citizen a box of candy that weighs more than 50 pounds.
Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take a bath at least once a year.
It is against the law to whale hunt in Oklahoma. (Think about it...)
A Venetian law decrees that all gondolas must be painted black. The only exceptions are gondolas belonging to high public officials.
In the state of Queensland, Australia, it is still constitutional law that all pubs (hotel/bar) must have a railing outside for patrons to tie up their horse.
According to law, no store is allowed to sell a toothbrush on the Sabbath in Providence, Rhode Island. Yet these same stores are allowed to sell toothpaste and mouthwash on Sundays.
Before the enactment of the 1978 law that made it mandatory for dog owners in New York City to clean up after their pets, approximately 40 million pounds of dog excrement were deposited on the streets every year.
Chewing gum is outlawed in Singapore because it is a means of "tainting an environment free of dirt."
The handkerchief had been used by the Romans, who ordinarily wore two handkerchiefs: one on the left wrist and one tucked in at the waist or around the neck. In the fifteenth century, the handkerchief was for a time allowed only to the nobility; special laws were made to enforce this. The classical heritage was rediscovered during the Renaissance.
For hundreds of years, the Chinese zealously guarded the secret of sericulture; imperial law decreed death by torture to those who disclosed how to make silk.
An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.
By law, information collected in a U.S. census must remain confidential for 72 years.
Candy made from pieces of barrel cactus was outlawed in the U.S. in 1952 to protect the species.
A slander case in Thailand was once settled by a witness who said nothing at all. According to the memoirs of Justice Gerald Sparrow, a 20th century British barrister who served as a judge in Bangkok, the case involved two rival Chinese merchants. Pu Lin and Swee Ho. Pu Lin had stated sneeringly at a party that Swee Ho's new wife, Li Bua, was merely a decoration to show how rich her husband was. Swee Ho, he said, could no longer "please the ladies." Swee Ho sued for slander, claiming Li Bua was his wife in every sense - and he won his case, along with substantial damages, without a word of evidence being taken. Swee Ho's lawyer simply put the blushing bride in the witness box. She had decorative, gold-painted fingernails, to be sure, but she was also quite obviously pregnant.
In Breton, Alabama, there is a law on the town's books against riding down the street in a motorboat.
Connecticut and Rhode Island never ratified the 18th Amendment: Prohibition.
A few years back, a Chinese soap hit it big with consumers in Asia. It was claimed in ads that users would lose weight with Seaweed Defat Scented Soap simply by washing with it. The soap was sold in violation to the Japanese Pharmaceutical Affairs Law and was banned. Reportedly, the craze for the soap was so great that Japanese tourists from China and Hong Kong brought back large quantities. The product was also in violation of customs regulations. In June and July 1999 alone, over 10,000 bars were seized.
In most American states, a wedding ring is exempt by law from inclusion among the assets in a bankruptcy estate. This means that a wedding ring cannot be seized by creditors, no matter how much the bankrupt person owes.
In New York State, it is still illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley car.
Vermont, Alaska, Hawaii, and Maine are the four states in the U.S. that do not allow billboards.
Wetaskiwin, Alberta from 1917: "It's against the law to tie a male horse next to a female horse on Main Street."
Women were banned by royal decree from using hotel swimming pools in Jidda, Saudi Arabia, in 1979.
In Riverside, California, there is an old law on the city's books which makes it illegal to kiss unless both people wipe their lips with rose water.
In Saudi Arabia, a woman reportedly may divorce her husband if he does not keep her supplied with coffee.
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